Tuesday, October 9, 2018

Pink + Blue = Black & Blue

Isolated, alone, he sat pondering what had just happened. He couldn’t understand how a small comment could grow into such a big argument. Now the splashing wave and the whistling wind were all that kept him company. “I’m tired of this,” he thought. “If this is the way she wants it, then I won’t go home, ever!”


Tears rolled down her cheeks. Their marriage was over. If he could be so insitive after all these years, then he will never change. She was only trying to help and he snapped at her, said she didn’t know what she was talking about. “I’m tired of this,” she thought. “If this is the way he wants it, then he can stay gone, forever!”



These conflicts happen all the time, whether in a marriage, a family, a dating couple or friends, hurtful words against good intentions. Misunderstanding instead of communication, and the best of relationships can be derailed. Why do we fight so much? What makes being in a close relationship with someone, make being in a close relationship so difficult? We are naturally drawn to one another because people are created for people, and the closer the relationship the greater chance for hurt and disappointment.

We rarely care what others think, unless we truly respect them. That’s why her intent to help bothered him. If we look further into their conversation we find that he was fixing something that he wasn’t good at. It was his responsibility. When his wife suggested some alternative ways, it made him feel inadequate. Instead of accepting his wife’s suggestion as a gift, he saw it as criticism and he lashed out. She, on the other hand, could have waited until he asked her to enter his world. It might have taken a long time, but what he needed was a cheerleader, because he hated what he was doing. 

Conflict is inevitable. We stumble with the flesh, and it rears its ugly head at the most inconvenient times. In those moments, take a deep breath, guys, and say, “she’s a well meaning woman.” And women, when you think he can’t do anything right, find the one thing that he does and praise for it, if he goes to work faithfully, thank him for being a good provider. He might not show it, but it will thrill him down to the tips of his toes. I’m just saying.,,

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