Perkins Laws

When I was driving for Wingtip Couriers (Seminary Days), I observed several immutable laws. The first one was (and is) “the speed of an elevator is directionally proportional to the size of the building. The taller the building, the faster the elevator, the smaller the building, the slower the elevator. A ride to the third floor of either building has a differential of 3. The taller building takes three min., while the smaller building takes 30 (or at least it always seemed). Of course, the reason has nothing to do with the size of the building, but the type of elevator, whether lift or pully. Take the elevator at St John. If you need a lift to get to service, you might want to add 15 minutes to your arrival time.

The second law is similar, “the speed of traffic is directly proportionate to what lane you are in. Whatever lane I am in is always slower than the one I’m not, and if I change lanes, the other automatically speeds up allowing all the cars to pass me.” This law applies to any line, vehicular or pedestrian. It is also the most frustrating. Rebecca and I were deciding which drive-through line would be the fastest. We laughed and chose poorly. Who would have known that the one person line had an order the size of a football team, *sigh*.

Third law. This one I’m throwing in for free. It’s the law of customer service. “No matter where, the customer service representative of a retail store who greets you with a smile is always (or almost always) in training and will take twice as long.” Inevitably I always choose the smile. And yes you have to have patience with the trainees. Rebecca and I were at Lowe’s, and sure enough, the lady with the smile was just trying her best to help us. It took forever, and we still had to wait for the supervisor. “Bless her heart.”

There is an adage, “The longer you wait, the quicker patience comes.” Ok, I just made that up, but it’s true. If you want to learn patience you have to practice it; you have to put yourself in places where you have to sit back, take a deep breath, and realize that waiting is an opportunity to practice patience. The book of James says that endurance builds character. Waiting allows you a chance to pray, read your Bible, share the gospel, or even write a blog (I’m waiting while Rebecca shops for produce and the guy next to me in the cafe is blaring his radio...*sigh*...practice patience. I’m just saying...

What I Should Have Said

I have seen my share of the devil’s work among churches. He likes to nudge us into conflict, arguments, and division. What better way to sideline us from the work of the gospel. Our hope is expressed by John in his epistle, “For this reason Jesus appeared, to destroy the works of the devil.” We have a choice, to practice righteousness or to practice unrighteousness. I think it is good for each of us to stop and reflect on our church involvement. Has it been a passionate desire to proclaim the gospel and see people’s lives transformed, or have we settled for a “This is good enough for me” Christianity. The second leads to disgruntled family members when things do t go their way. The first rises above the fray and sets aside personal ambition for the cause of Christ. 

Honestly, I have found myself sliding by on occasion. It’s easy to get into ruts and coast on the good intentions of others. But I want to be more than that. I want my life to count. If the devil’s work has been destroyed, then I can step boldly into the unknown, trusting that what Jesus has in store for us is more than we can imagine. Instead of self-indulgent bickering, we look for common ground and press in to take hold that which is ours in Christ.

It has been good to be in a family (SJM) that has not fallen prey to these works of the devil. We have come a long way and have a long way to go before we are complete, but I believe our Father is pleased with our little family. As long as we trust in the Lord, our way will be made plain, and our path straight. Don’t be deceived; the devil isn’t complacent. We must be watchful and alert so that we will not fall prey to his schemes. I am just thankful that you have my back. I’m just saying.

I have the MAN Flu

It’s official; I have man flu. I woke up this morning with a101.4 temperature. Influenza causes temperatures to fluctuate between 102 and 106 at its extreme. The man flu is much worse because a slight rise in temperature can cause a man to tailspin. So, 101.4, I might as well be on my deathbed. Ache, hot and cold, coughing, and only an appetite for...the another day it was donuts. Just think how rough today is going to be.

Fortunately for me, I have a loving wife, unfortunately for me, she hasn’t felt well either. I tested the level of care I would receive by asking where the thermometer was, and when she told me where to find it, I knew I was on my own. That’s not true; she has been very attentive. To understand the man flu is to understand my dilemma.

Men like to come across as strong, but it doesn’t take much for him to give in to difficulty and depend on women. Look at Adam and Eve in the garden, or Abraham and Sarah. Samson and Delilah is a prime example as well as Debrah and the Men of Israel. Solomon was led astray by women, and Jezebel, well, she was her own kind of evil. This isn’t to say Thant women are evil, but that men can be weak at the worst, and indifferent at best. Indifference is when they don’t care about their responsibilities and give them over to woman willingly, and they complain when it doesn’t turn out the way they intended.

I like this passage out 1 Corinthians 16:13, “13 Be watchful, stand firm in the faith, act like men, be strong. 14 Let all that you do be done in love.” The Apostle is telling the men to stop being wimps, but taking responsibility. So, act like men and be strong. But their strength doesn’t lead to domination, but to love. True manly strength takes his responsibility seriously and cares for those under his charge, not for his own gain, but the welfare of others.

Yes, I may have the man flu, but I need to man up and take care of Rebecca as well. I’m just saying.

A Little Faithful Matters

“21 His master said to him, ‘Well done, good and faithful servant. You have been faithful over a little; I will set you over much. Enter into the joy of your master.’” Matthew 25:21

I have been thinking about this lately, partly because it is a principle that has taken me a while to learn. Little things matter. It goes along with the verse in James 5:12, “let your yes be yes and your no, no”. In other words, if you say you are going to do something, then take responsibility and finish what you start. I know, “ circumstances change”, and “more important things take priority.” I used to say the same things. If I didn’t want to finish and obligation I justified it with one of these phrases. Who can argue with you, right? And because of my past justification, I have given people the benefit of the doubt. Then I came to realize that those excuses exposed me as a fraud.

That’s right, a fraud. If I commit myself to something then I need to count the cost first. There is no shame in turning down an opportunity, but there is shame in ignoring a commitment made. Finish what you started, and if you don’t want to continue you sit down and talk it through with the person you made the commitment with. If I make a small promise and don’t fulfill it, then why would anyone allow me more responsibility.

In my experience, I have found this true among the people of the church. Think about it, few people skip work because they stayed up too late, miss basketball practice for the same reason. In the churches I have been at the attitude is that church is extra, volunteers, or optional. I don’t show up to nursery duty, no big deal. I commit to the choir, there are plenty of people. But shouldn’t our commitment to the church be as important as our commitment to the things of the world?

Don’t get me wrong, things happen, circumstances change, I get it. But if the cost is too big, let’s be honest and faithful. Look at Ananias and Sapphira (Acts 5:1-11) when they did not fulfill their obligations. I’m just saying

Hey! It’s Family

Being a child of God and belonging to his family is the most satisfying and infuriating relationships I have ever encountered. In the book, the storm-tossed family the author writes that children are both humbling and humiliating, in other words in one moment their humbling because of the privilege God gives parents to raise such precious creatures. They are humiliating because at any moment, in public, they can reduce you to tears.

In my book my dysfunctional love affair with the church I talk about how the local church has hurt me, and yet, I am inexplicably drawn to her because she is the bride of Christ. I hear on occasion that someone has been hurt by the church and they are thinking of leaving. I get it, relationships are hard, family can be cruel, and it is easier to leave than to reconcile. We can treat one another with such kindness and then turn around tear into one another, humble and humiliation. No, it shouldn’t be this way, but to ignore it and run from it changes nothing. What if we chose a different path?

”1 See what kind of love the Father has given to us, that we should be called children of God; and so we are…The reason the Son of God appeared was to destroy the works of the devil…10 By this it is evident who are the children of God, and who are the children of the devil…whoever does not practice righteousness is not of God, nor is the one who does not love his brother.” 1 John 3:1,8b, 10.

The greatest damage Satan can cause is to tear apart the family of God. But in Christ, the devil is defeated, and in victory, we have the power to love one another. Have you hurt a brother/sister in the church? Intentional or not, go and reconcile. Have you been hurt? Sure, you shouldn’t have to be the one to take the first step, but do it anyway. Swallow your own pride and reconcile with your brother/sister or leadership. 

Our love for one another is evidence that we are practicing righteousness. Don’t be deceived, you cannot be mature or grow in Christ if you do not have love for one another. I know, I’ve been there, and I am telling you, there is nothing sweeter than a relationship mended. I’m just saying.

The Golden Years

I was sitting with her in the hospital. It hadn’t been too long before, that her husband had died of cancer, a long lingering episode. Now her health was failing. Bits and pieces at first. Aches here and pain there, until they jumbled together in a constant rhythm. ”So, much for the golden years, ” she said.

The Golden years ”The Third Age is now considered by many to be the “golden years” of adulthood. It is generally defined as the span of time between retirement and the beginning of age-imposed physical, emotional, and cognitive limitations, and today would roughly fall between the ages of 65 and 80+.”

It is a concept sold to us by an affluent society that believed it could forestall aging and cheat death. In first world countries, our lifespan has increased, but the golden years are hit and miss. For other countries, forget about it, the struggle for daily life is all-consuming. The fact is, you don’t even have to be in your senior year’s to have the golden years snatched out from under you.

• An expectation not met/disappointment – I believed God would heal my father, but he didn’t.

• A relationship gone bad/promise not kept – My spouse cheated on me, left me, is a workaholic.

• A lifestyle not accomplished/sense of insignificance – didn’t get the career I longed for and my job is meaningless.

• A future not realized/overwhelming hopelessness – I am all alone and each night I feel that no-one cares.

• A pain too great to bear/a God who doesn’t care, or maybe the God I’ve been told about. I can’t have children so how can a loving God give them to undeserving people and not me.

In his book, ”The Problem Of Pain, ” CS Lewis acutely makes the point of mains dilemma with the golden years, 

the creatures cause pain by being born and live by inflicting pain, and in pain, they mostly die. in the most complex of all the creatures, man, yet another quality appears, which we call reason, whereby he is enabled to foresee his own pain which henceforth is preceded with acute mental suffering and to foresee his own death while keenly desiring permanence. it also enables men by a hundred ingenious contrivances to inflict a great deal more pain than they otherwise could have done on one another and on the irrational creatures. this power they have exploited to the full. their history is largely a record of crime, war, disease, and terror, with just sufficient happiness interposed to give them, while it lasts, an agonized apprehension of losing it, and, when it is lost, the poignant misery of remembering. every now and then they improve their condition a little and what we call a civilization appears. but all civilizations pass away and, even while they remain, inflict peculiar sufferings of their own probably sufficient to outweigh what alleviations they may have brought to the normal pains of man.

 God, however, didn’t promise us golden years, he promised abundant life. For some, that sounds the same, but there is a vast difference. Golden years are rooted in the things of the world. Abundant life rests in the sufficiency of Jesus. In Christ, I see the world for how it is, sinful and decaying. In Christ I see compassion, and in grace help out those who are forgotten. In Christ grace is abundant, not overlooking sin, but to see it paid for and forgiven. In Christ, the Father’s Holiness condemns sin, but in Christ, we are more than conquers. In Christ, I endure the pain, the disappointment, the loss, and the unknown because my patience means salvation for others. Is it easy? Heaven’s, no, but the end of the story is magnificent. Move over golden years, give way for His glory years. I’m just saying…

From Trial to Opportuniy

Grief is one of the strongest emotions that we can experience. It’s not just grief in the loss of someone we love. It can be the grief of a lifestyle lost, when the economy buckles and you lose everything, it can be the loss of an ideal marriage when a spouse cheats (wether it is with another woman/man, pornography, drugs, or alcoholism), trust is still lost. It could be the loss of what could be if your child is diagnosed with an incurable disease or born with a handicap. Maybe it is the loss of identity when you come down with cancer and that’s all people see you as. There is so much to grieve in life, because sin steals so much away from us. 

With each loss we move through the stages of grief, denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. The length of the grieving process depends on a lot of factors, and the kind of loss experienced. When our youngest son was diagnosed with diabetes at five it was life changing, but the process was different than, when in 2008 we lost everything when the economy collapsed. The stages were the same, but how we responded, the length of time it took to move through each stage was different. Yet, the denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance were real, deep, and painful.  But, the experiences weren’t devoid of hope.

“11 In him we have obtained an inheritance, having been predestined according to the purpose of him who works all things according to the counsel of his will, 12 so that we who were the first to hope in Christ might be to the praise of his glory” Ephesians 1:11,12.

“2 Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, 3 for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. 4 And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing” James 1:2-4.

Every trial is an opportunity to trust God, love others, forgive sinners, offer mercy, be gracious, and experience hope. We learn to love and forgive because we have been loved and forgiven. We often think that our loss is worse than anyone else’s and our pain is deserved, our regret understandable, our anger justified, and therefore we withhold grace because the recipient is undeserving. However, if we saw ourselves the way God sees us and yet He loves and forgives us, maybe we would look at life a little differently and deal with our loss with a little less anger.

Your loss is real, but if you don’t make it past the first four stages you will end up bitter, and bitterness changes nothing. It eats out the very soul you are trying to preserve. If you have been dealt a bad hand, reshuffle the deck. If  you have been cheated on, if the partner has confessed, then forgive. If your ideal for life has changed forever, embrace your new life, God's grace is greater than you can ever imagine.

There is nothing easy about it, but, SPE NEMO RUET, With Hope, No One Shall Fail! I’m just saying.