From Trial to Opportuniy

Grief is one of the strongest emotions that we can experience. It’s not just grief in the loss of someone we love. It can be the grief of a lifestyle lost, when the economy buckles and you lose everything, it can be the loss of an ideal marriage when a spouse cheats (wether it is with another woman/man, pornography, drugs, or alcoholism), trust is still lost. It could be the loss of what could be if your child is diagnosed with an incurable disease or born with a handicap. Maybe it is the loss of identity when you come down with cancer and that’s all people see you as. There is so much to grieve in life, because sin steals so much away from us. 

With each loss we move through the stages of grief, denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. The length of the grieving process depends on a lot of factors, and the kind of loss experienced. When our youngest son was diagnosed with diabetes at five it was life changing, but the process was different than, when in 2008 we lost everything when the economy collapsed. The stages were the same, but how we responded, the length of time it took to move through each stage was different. Yet, the denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance were real, deep, and painful.  But, the experiences weren’t devoid of hope.

“11 In him we have obtained an inheritance, having been predestined according to the purpose of him who works all things according to the counsel of his will, 12 so that we who were the first to hope in Christ might be to the praise of his glory” Ephesians 1:11,12.

“2 Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, 3 for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. 4 And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing” James 1:2-4.

Every trial is an opportunity to trust God, love others, forgive sinners, offer mercy, be gracious, and experience hope. We learn to love and forgive because we have been loved and forgiven. We often think that our loss is worse than anyone else’s and our pain is deserved, our regret understandable, our anger justified, and therefore we withhold grace because the recipient is undeserving. However, if we saw ourselves the way God sees us and yet He loves and forgives us, maybe we would look at life a little differently and deal with our loss with a little less anger.

Your loss is real, but if you don’t make it past the first four stages you will end up bitter, and bitterness changes nothing. It eats out the very soul you are trying to preserve. If you have been dealt a bad hand, reshuffle the deck. If  you have been cheated on, if the partner has confessed, then forgive. If your ideal for life has changed forever, embrace your new life, God's grace is greater than you can ever imagine.

There is nothing easy about it, but, SPE NEMO RUET, With Hope, No One Shall Fail! I’m just saying.