Perkins Laws

When I was driving for Wingtip Couriers (Seminary Days), I observed several immutable laws. The first one was (and is) “the speed of an elevator is directionally proportional to the size of the building. The taller the building, the faster the elevator, the smaller the building, the slower the elevator. A ride to the third floor of either building has a differential of 3. The taller building takes three min., while the smaller building takes 30 (or at least it always seemed). Of course, the reason has nothing to do with the size of the building, but the type of elevator, whether lift or pully. Take the elevator at St John. If you need a lift to get to service, you might want to add 15 minutes to your arrival time.

The second law is similar, “the speed of traffic is directly proportionate to what lane you are in. Whatever lane I am in is always slower than the one I’m not, and if I change lanes, the other automatically speeds up allowing all the cars to pass me.” This law applies to any line, vehicular or pedestrian. It is also the most frustrating. Rebecca and I were deciding which drive-through line would be the fastest. We laughed and chose poorly. Who would have known that the one person line had an order the size of a football team, *sigh*.

Third law. This one I’m throwing in for free. It’s the law of customer service. “No matter where, the customer service representative of a retail store who greets you with a smile is always (or almost always) in training and will take twice as long.” Inevitably I always choose the smile. And yes you have to have patience with the trainees. Rebecca and I were at Lowe’s, and sure enough, the lady with the smile was just trying her best to help us. It took forever, and we still had to wait for the supervisor. “Bless her heart.”

There is an adage, “The longer you wait, the quicker patience comes.” Ok, I just made that up, but it’s true. If you want to learn patience you have to practice it; you have to put yourself in places where you have to sit back, take a deep breath, and realize that waiting is an opportunity to practice patience. The book of James says that endurance builds character. Waiting allows you a chance to pray, read your Bible, share the gospel, or even write a blog (I’m waiting while Rebecca shops for produce and the guy next to me in the cafe is blaring his radio...*sigh*...practice patience. I’m just saying...