Running With The Big Dogs and Falling Behind

9 REASONS IT’S HARD TO ATTEND A CHURCH ONCE YOU’VE BEEN INVOLVED IN LEADING ONE

An interesting article to reflect on. I know my own issues. Tell me what you think of this article.

By Carey Nieuwhof

If you’ve struggled with this feeling before, ask yourself whether any of these 9 reasons might be part of your struggle:

1. YOUR IDENTITY IS TIED TO WHAT YOU DO, NOT WHO YOU ARE

So who are you really? A preacher? A musician? A worship leader? A student director? An elders? An usher? A group leader? A staff member?

No you’re not.

You’re a child of God redeemed by a Saviour who came for you.

So many of us define who we are by what we do. I struggle against this every day.

Before you dismiss this, do this simple test that Tim Keller offers.

“If work [or ministry] is your idol, if you are successful it goes to your head, if you are a failure it goes to your heart.”

Boom. Maybe your identity is more tied up in what you do than you think.

2. YOU LIKE BEING THE CENTER OF ATTENTION

As Andy Stanley says, anyone who’s ever strapped on a microphone is a little like Lady Gaga; we all live for the applause. Come to think of us, many of us don’t need a mic for that.

Could it be that you’ve grown accustomed to being the center of attention, no matter how small your audience might be?

Often my decision that something doesn’t fit ‘me’ is far more a statement about me than it is about whatever I’m uncomfortable with.

3. YOU’VE SEEN HOW THE SAUSAGE IS MADE AND HAVE LOST YOUR APPETITE

Yep. Church is messy, flawed, disappointing and at times deeply hurtful.

Largely because people are messy, flawed, disappointing and at times deeply hurtful. And we live on this side of heaven.

Hurt, unresolved, breeds cynicism. And there are so many cynical former church attenders who simply haven’t addressed their unresolved issues.

Part of maturity involves realizing that I contribute to messy sausage making. I am part of the problem. And so is almost every leader who has abandoned church.

Jesus never said we would be known for our perfection. But he did say we would be known by our love.

Love owns my share. Love forgives. Love says I’m sorry. Love reconciles. Love works toward a better tomorrow.

Love sees who you really are and stays anyway.

4. YOU’VE BECOME MORE OF A CRITIC THAN A WORSHIPPER

This one’s hard. Once you’ve been on the inside, you listen ‘at’ a sermon as much as you listen ‘to’ a message.

You ask “What’s he doing here? Why did he make that transition this way? What’s up with his body language?”

Musicians critique the music. Guest services people criticize greeters. Graphic design people laugh at other designs.

And lead pastors critique everything.

What’s missing in this picture?

Humility. Submission. Grace. That’s all.

5. YOU THINK YOU’RE BETTER OR SMARTER THAN THE PEOPLE WHO MERELY ATTEND

This one’s ugly.

I don’t know what else to say about it except stop it. Really.

Okay one more thing. So maybe you are smart. Or more successful. Got that.

If you think you’re too important to help someone, stop fooling yourself. You’re not that important.

6. SOMEWHERE IN THE PROCESS, YOUR PERSONAL WALK WITH GOD TANKED

Leadership is best when it springs from the overflow of our personal walk with God.

There are many ways unusual church leader struggle with God (I wrote about 5 of them here), but just because you lost your closeness to God while leading in a church doesn’t mean church is bad.

He loves you, and He loves the church in all of its weakness.

 7. YOU’VE FORGOTTEN YOU’RE A FOLLOWER, NOT JUST A LEADER

Originally all of us got into ministry after we decided to become followers of Jesus. That following should never stop.

The best leaders are actually the best followers.

A leader who can only lead but not follow is actually not a great leader. And certainly not a godly leader.

8. YOU’RE NEGLECTING THE FACT THAT YOU STILL HAVE A ROLE TO PLAY

I know it’s cliche, but the goal is not to attend church or go to church. You are the church.

But, for reasons outlined here, I think the church is so much stronger when we are together, not when we are apart.

While we can all use some rehab in a back row of a church somewhere from season to season, ultimately, every follower of Christ has a role to play in the local church. Even if it’s not your favourite role or a role you’re used to.

Being involved is one of the best ways to stay engaged, even if it’s not what you used to do or want to do.

9. ‘WHY’ HAS DIED ON THE ALTAR OF ‘WHAT’ AND ‘HOW’

Church leadership is a lot of ‘what’ and ‘how’. I find I have to remind myself daily of the ‘why’ of church.

Why?

• Because God is good.
• Because he loves us.
• Because Jesus gave his life for a world he desperately loves.
• Because our cities are full of people who don’t know the love of Christ.
• Because my life is not my own.
• Because the church was Jesus’ idea.
• Because grace ultimately makes all things new.

So does that help? I realize these reasons will not address every issue, and that some will flail against any organized church no matter what is said.

But so many leave unnecessarily. Maybe you’re one of them. If any of these reasons are true, what will you do about them?

I know that working through them has kept my passion and hope for the local church strong, even if it flickers in the wind some days