Abandoned Hope

Hope is a strong emotion that gives meaning, but what if it disappears?

Evil lurks behind the ear 

Whispering words of malice 

Tempting those of weaker minds 

Steering towards destruction

No thought of goodness

No echo of what is right

No dim reminder of righteousness 

No sense of a better life

Bent towards self-gratification 

Living only for the moment 

Wading through self delusion 

No hope; No hope; No hope

They cannot hear 

They cannot see

They cannot recognize 

The ones who care

They cannot fathom

The lengths that are gone

To help them succeed

To grow into something better

They push They resist 

They fight Only to fall

The darkness consumes

The light pushes through

Only to be slapped back

And darkness lays hold once again

Those who toil on their behalf 

Exhausted rise each day

To fight a battle not their own 

Only to be mistreated

Evil lurks behind the ear 

Whispering words of malice 

What will happen to the young 

When hope has been abandoned

A friend once told me that you can’t work harder then the person you are trying to help. Sometimes it seems fruitless to continue. Jesus gives us the picture of leaving the 99 to go after that one stubborn sheep that just doesn’t want help. The evil one tells us to give up, to keep trying, he doesn’t want to work as hard as you. But then again, I’m not doing it for him, but for Jesus, who pursued me when I wasn’t interest. I’m just saying...

The Narcissism of Our Pain

The following is an excerpt from my book “Reflections of a Broken Man.” It seems narcissistic to post the reflections of some of my darkest hours, but then again isn’t blogging itself self absorbed. At any rate I thought I would repost some of the poems over the next couple of days and add some additional thoughts. The opening begins:

________________

There are times when life is overwhelming, when the truths that we held self-evident flounder against the pain. We desperately want faith to be simple, but it seldom is, it strains against self-perceptions, voices loud and subtle. During our darkest hours (and only the individual can determine that time) the heart cries for something more, something deeper, and something that will make sense of it all.

Yet, there is little sense in the world. Evil flourishes, good people suffer, the greedy prosper, and the faithful drown under the weight of life. One-step forward and two-step backward and all. There is comfort somewhere, at least we are told, that will carry us through to a better life. But why hope for a better life when the one we are in should do us just fine?

If you are looking for encouraging poetry to lift you out of the mire, this may not be for you. These reflections are the open heart of my soul in its darkest hours. It asks questions that are seldom answered, a voice shouting into the gale force winds, lost in the void, and yet, still seeking hope. Enjoy, commiserate, or not, but keep asking questions.

____________________

I am glad those days are past, at least for me. There are many around who move through the rhythm of their lives in pain. For us who have gone through we can offer hope, a light at the end of the tunnel. His name is Jesus. I’m just saying.

Life’s Dirty Little Secret

The world is made up of secrets and lies. We either button our lips or cast doubt and deceit onto everything. My biggest secret is hidden deep in my heart.  If you have a secret, the mere mention of it causes you to tremble. If it is someone else’s secret,  just the mention of it perks our ears. What is he hiding, what could possibly be so devastating that he wouldn’t want anyone to know? What is your secret? 

Secrets, especially the kind we are embarrassed about, are more than hidden bits of information. They foster deciept and lies. If we are afraid of being found out, a new narrative is formulated so as to hide the terror and distract others from its course. Secrets lie in the darkness. We find the darkness cold, and use blankets full of holes to keep warm. Lies burn holes into the fabric of our lives, and keep us neither warm or safe.

What is the answer to secrets and lies? It is truth and foregivenes. Bringing secrets into the light of truth can cause pain and distrust. We are judged for our secrets and condemned for our lies. No matter if the judge has his own secrets and tells his own lies, your secrets distract us from his. But what if truth is accompanied by forgiveness? What if the community of God is a safe place for secrets to be revealed? What if instead of judgement we offer mercy and extend an offer of a better life? Is it possible, that in darkness I could truly be warmed? Maybe then I would tell you my secret? I’m just saying...

“Whoever goes about slandering reveals secrets,

but he who is trustworthy in spirit keeps a thing covered.” Proverbs 11:13

The Day After Grief

There really isn’t a day after grief. The loss of someone you love is never easy, even when you know they are with the Lord. The empty place where they sat, or slept, is an image of the empty place left in the heart. But that is why it hurts so much, because there was so much love. The Psalmist said, 

Your eyes saw my unformed substance;

in your book were written, every one of them,

the days that were formed for me,

when as yet there was none of them.

How precious to me are your thoughts, O God!

How vast is the sum of them!

If I would count them, they are more than the sand.

I awake, and I am still with you.

Nothing happens that God is not aware of. His sovereignty stands, even in the mist of pain and sorrow. It is His sovereign will that gives us hope and comfort. To those who know Him, His thoughts are precious, because, as Paul said, “He works all things together for good to those who love him and are called according to His purpose.” There is nothing we can do, for Him to love us more, and there is nothing we can do for Him to love us less. In Christ we have the strength to face each day when our flesh doesn’t feel like it can. In Christ, we have the peace that surpasses all understanding, when our flesh wants to live in turmoil. In Christ, we have the wisdom to see past the momentary pain towards something grandeur. But it has to be in Christ.

 

So teach us to number our days

that we may get a heart of wisdom. (Psalm 90:12)

The number of our days is written God’s book. Therefore, we are to number our days. The first is about the fragility of life, and the result of Adam’s sin. We all die. The second, is looking at each day, each moment for the precious gift that it is. It’s a count down, and a reminder that we are but mists, and that days are too short not to focus on what is really important — Loving God, Loving each other, and loving those outside the kingdom. 

If there is a rift between you and someone in your family, go and make it right. If your friend doesn’t know Jesus, share the gospel. If you need to be saved from your sin, repent and believe in the sacrifice of Jesus. Number your days and set your heart toward wisdom; The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom. 

Today, I am going to reexamine my life and ask, “Father, who can I love today? Who can I show compassion to today? Who needs a helping hand? Father, make my days count.” I’m just praying.

Goodbye Friend

Today is a sad day, as family and friends begin to mourn the passing of a good friend. The first question that will come to many people’s mind is, “God, Why?” After finding him so quickly, why? After the helicopter pilot, who knew him, beat the storm to get him to the hospital, why? After such a good day on Tuesday, why? After so much life left in him, to love, to minister, to give sacrificially of himself, why? And the question lingers unanswered. 

After Mary and Martha asked Jesus the same question, at the passing of their brother Lazarus, Jesus said, “I am the resurrection and the life. Whoever believes in me, though he die, yet shall he live, and everyone who lives and believes in me shall never die. Do you believe this?” The question isn’t why, but do you believe?

The only remedy for sorrow is hope. The Apostle Paul said, “But we do not want you to be uninformed, brothers, about those who are asleep, that you may not grieve as others do who have no hope. For since we believe that Jesus died and rose again, even so, through Jesus, God will bring with him those who have fallen asleep.” So, in Christ we have hope.

Dan will always be, “remember[ed] before our God and Father [his] work of faith and labor of love and steadfastness of hope in our Lord Jesus Christ.” He loved others because he loved Jesus. The last time I spoke with Dan, I said I wanted to get a 1971 MG sports car. He said, “whatever makes you happy.” I replied, “Rebecca makes me happy.” Through shallow breathes he said, “yeah, Marty makes me happy too.” Jesus and Marty are his two greatest loves. 

What about you? What are your two greatest loves? Who is your first love? Do not let this moment pass you by, for today is the day of salvation. The scriptures says, “For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.” It also says, “if you confess with your mouth, and believe in heart, that Jesus was raised from the dead, you will be saved.” In yet another place, “For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast.” 

Today is a defining moment for Dan, as he was ushered into the presence of Jesus. Today is a defining moment for the family as they mourn his passing. Today is a defining moment for his friends, who will miss him greatly. Most of all, it is a defining moment for you who are not followers of Jesus. 

Do you believe? Dan’s just saying...