When things change they can change quickly. Last night the state department said all the Bahraini foreign exchange students would be going home, but they didn’t know when. There wasn’t any expectation that he would leave before May at the earliest. There were just no flights to His country. But when things change they can change quickly and our expectations go out the window,
This morning we received word that he was to be ready to leave tomorrow. Rebecca and I talked back and forth with the Bahraini embassy as they arrange the flight home. The King said he wanted his students home immediately and it was happening. When things change and all.
When Yousef came he had certain expectations about being here ten months, engaging with American Students, and learning what it meant to grow close to his host family. All was going well until the Corona Virus. Every expectation flew out the window. First it was school—cancelled, then stay at home, and finally go home. It’s been hard for him to leave all of a sudden. He is learning to manage his expectations. How we are helping is by asking him questions about what he has learned while being in America. Here are a few of things he has said.
1. At Spring Hill he told Paul Ginther that he saw people’s lives changed. And though he couldn’t say that his had it did make him think.
2. One of the things he really noticed was how friendly the people of our church have been toward him, as well as the teachers at school.
3. He told me today that he learned that for Christians it wasn’t just about loving Jesus (a concept that is unusual for a moslem to express) but that Christians love and support one another. He didn’t realize that Christians had such a concept on community.
4. That Christians do everything with a purpose. The way we celebrate Christmas and Thanksgiving or when we get together. It reminds me of the verse that says we should redeem the time.
What is saddest, for him, is that the new family he has just now grown to love may never be seen by him again. I told him that out of all the host Families we are the most likely to come and visit.
Expectations are hard, especially when they are not met. We can get frustrated and angry. Our tempers can flair and our words can sting. Disappointment can lead to depression and heartache. So how do we deal with unmet expectations? We need to learn to manage them.
1. Ask if the expectation is a real expectation. Sometimes we expect something that others can’t meet or were never going to meet. Take for example an expectation that God would stop Covid19 from spreading or getting your family sick, or even killing people. If God is loving then why won’t he do something about it. God has never said that he would do away with pain and suffering, and to expect him to is an expectation doom to fail. What he does promise is that through the body he will bring encouragement and support. Through the Spirit he will give us peace.
2. We need to remember every way that God has provided for us in the past. It is easy to praise God, or forget him, in the good times. When things get rough instead of hands wide open we clench as if trying to hold on to the past. Remembering what God has done will remind us that goodness still abounds. We can then wait patiently until today passes and the good mercy of God falls on us anew. Remember his mercies are new every morning.
3. Act with kindness toward others. When expectations are unmet we often become self focused and that focus is always on the negative. Focusing outward revives the soul as well as encourages others.
4. Give praise to God. Praise and worship are the first to go when expectations are unmet. We feel the need to blame someone for not having a particular expectation met and God is a big target. He also doesn’t throw stones back.
2 Peter 3:9 (ESV) The Lord is not slow to fulfill his promise as some count slowness, but is patient toward you, not wishing that any should perish, but that all should reach repentance.
God’s ways are his, and he doesn’t keep counsel with his creation. What he does do is include us in the process of restoration. Whatever your situation or expectation take a step back and ask, “how is God at work in this situation in order to build his kingdom, brings others to Christ, and give Him the most glory. I’m just saying…
Managing expectations from the bunker day 17
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