Ballroom Dancing...I’m just saying

There are quite a few conservative churches that don't allow dancing at organized events. It's one of those rules created to ward off the potential illicit grinding that can morally bankrupt dancers. Having been to some raucous weddings, I understand the policy. But I do like to watch ballroom dancing.

I would probably engage in it more if I had rhythm. For one of our anniversaries, I surprised Rebecca with a one-hour private lesson. It was closed because I needed the focused attention of the instructor. We had a great time and have never done it again. 

Ballroom dancing is a beautiful picture of marriage. It takes two people who are face to face, where one is responsible for leading (usually the male). The female lightly touches his arms, and by subtle movements, she is able to anticipate the direction he wants to go. If she tries to lead at the same time, their rhythm is knocked off.

When everyone is fulfilling their role, the couple moves across the floor in a fluid, effortless movement of grace and beauty. Experienced couples effortlessly glide across the floor, looking into each other's eyes and become lost in the rapture of love (awe). It doesn't happen overnight; it takes hours of practice and patience. When I watch a talented couple dance, it makes me want to go and try it again.

Marriage takes as much patience and practice. Even when you think your instep and have all the moves down, one misstep can cause the couple to stumble. Regaining rhythm and balance can be tricky.

"Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered." 1 Peter 3:7

Does anyone know of a place to take ballroom dancing lessons? I'm just saying...

The Future of the Church....I’m just saying

We (the Church) spend a lot of money on children's ministries, for many reasons. Jesus said, "don't hinder the children from coming to me." The Old Testament commands parents to instruct their children in "the way" they should go. Research shows that the most productive age for conversion is childhood. Or, as has been stated recently, "children are the future of our Church."

Given all of these reasons, Is it true that children are our Church's future, locally and globally? The simple answer is no. The future of any church is the new blood of conversion, not just of children but also adults. I would go as far as to say that adult conversion is more fundamental to a local church's longevity that it's children. Most children will grow up and move away. 

The future of any church is the new people the Church reaches out to. The future makeup of the Church, then, is determined by the present demographic. People reach out to people like themselves. Young families reach out to young families, and as they grow older, so does the target of their outreach. If a church's demographic is older, then it will attract and reach out to older people. If a congregation doesn't do anything to reach people dissimilar to them (younger adults), it will grow old and eventually seek to exist as a local body. That is alright as long as they reach out to their community all the way to the end.

The proceeding is a generalization. If a senior congregation desires to see a younger generation come to Christ and be a part of their Church, they will change something about themselves to make this happen. They may shift worship style, start ministries aimed at a younger demographic, or hire someone younger to mobilize people toward a younger age group.

Our focus is not to perpetuate St. John but perpetuate the Kingdom of God. Our passion determines the methodology of our evangelization and the' target.' If we have a heart to reach our neighbors who are all 60+ or have a desire to reach young families, it doesn't matter as long as we reach others for the glory of God.

"As you are going," Jesus said," make disciples of all [demographics], teaching them to observe all that I have commanded, and I will be with you always, even until the end." Young or old, who are you reaching out to for Christ? Here's to the journey. I'm just saying.

Lemmings and sheep

Lemmings, a small rodent, is used as a metaphor for blindly following others off a cliff—three myths concerning Lemmings.

Myth #1 – "Lemmings are spontaneously generated in the sky and then falling to earth like rain." This myth was developed in 17th century Norway due to the rodents' propensity to multiply quickly.

Myth #2 – "Lemmings explode if they become sufficiently angry." Lemmings do have anger issues that they take out on each other. The exploding myth probably developed from seeing carrion remains.

Myth #3 – "Instinct drives them to kill themselves whenever their population becomes unsustainably large." Overpopulation does result in a mass migration of a part of the rodent population, but not for mass extinction. A migrating population may try and cross a river, but it was not an attempt in genocide.

Suffice it to say; the last myth has earned lemmings the reputation as an animal with a weak will that will follow others off a cliff.

Sheep are entirely different.

They flock together but aren't packs. Wherever the leader goes, all the sheep will follow. It is a herding mechanism that provides defense in numbers. With the flock huddled together, individual sheep are hard for predators to single out. It also allows a herd to follow a trusted Shepherd.

They follow the leader. When one sheep moves, they all move, even if it doesn't seem to be a good idea. This behavior is closely tied to their flocking instinct.

They are social. When grazing, sheep need to see one another. It reduces stress and calms the herd.

Obviously, sheep and lemmings are different types of animals, but they have some similarities. They run in herds and packs, and they follow the leader even if it ends terribly. However, their differences are striking, Lemmings are angry fighters, and they tend to fight with each other. Sheep are docile and easily domesticated. 

Ever wonder why the church is likened to sheep and not Lemmings? Many churches look angry and fight against one another more than being docile and followers—at least in the American church. Sheep get a bad rap for being stubborn and dull. But the characteristics that make them the perfect image for the church is their community and faithfulness to their Shepherd. Jesus said, 

John 10:27 (ESV)

27 My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me.

John 10:11 (ESV)

11 I am the good Shepherd. The good Shepherd lays down his life for the sheep.

Matthew 9:36 (ESV)

36 When he saw the crowds, he had compassion for them, because they were harassed and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd.

Unlike lemmings, who will devour each other and follow their leader to their deaths, sheep, because they are needy, love their community and listen to the Shepherd, whose job is to care for them. I am so blessed to be a part of a body of sheep who love and listen to their Shepherd. I'm just saying.

Masquerade

Masquerade! Paper faces on parade... Hide your face, so the world will never find you! Masquerade! Every face a different shade . . . Look around there's another mask behind you!*

Phantom of the Opera is one of my all-time favorites, and the song Masquerade is the most creative number in the play. It points out that the phantom isn't the only one who wears masks. Like the Operatic ghost, we hide behind our masks, afraid that if the world catches a glimpse beneath the surface, we will be rejected for our monster within. 

Keeping our darkest secrets hidden, our masks serve to distract onlookers from seeing the turmoil inside. But a glance in the mirror and we reel back in disgust. We see the mask and know the façade is thin and hope that the small cracks will not grow larger, exposing our vulnerabilities and weakness.

In ancient Greece, actors donned masks to cover the performer's face and present a new character in the drama. The actor was referred to as a hypocrite because his true identity was hidden. In the gospels, the term hypocrite applied to the Pharisees. They called people to repentance and obedience, then turned around, and sidestepped the rules to fit their greed and lusts. Jesus was harshest with their low regard for truth, the law, and for people.

It is easy to put on a mask that portrays a persona that says, "look at me; I have it all together." Isn't that the mark of a true believer? Trusting in Jesus means that I have the "joy, joy, joy, joy, down in my heart, always." But I don't. The hypocritical mask betrays my fear of rejection. Criticism of decisions, the judgment of actions, and undo expectations beat against my mask, reinforcing the desire to keep it in place.

Wearing a mask is an act of unbelief in God's ineffable grace. The writer of Hebrews said, "Since we have this confidence to enter into the holy places." The word confidence means speaking whatever comes to mind without reprisal. In God's presence and love, He gently removes my mask.  I am known and still accepted because of Jesus' righteousness. No longer do I have to hide behind the bush when the Father calls my name. Along with my mask, My shame is removed, and I am a new creation.

The phantom's mask was finally removed, and his greatest fears were realized, not because of the way he looked, but because of the corruption that ate at his soul. He chose to remain hidden in the shadows. We have seen a great light, and that light is the light of life, who has come into the world, and he is full of grace and truth. Take off your mask, step into the light, and experience the joy of being fully known and accepted. I'm just saying.

*Andrew Lloyd Webber – Masquerade/Why So Silent? Lyrics .... https://genius.com/Andrew-lloyd-webber-masquerade-why-so-silent-lyrics

It's coming to an end

The Apocalypse is just around the corner. "For in those days, there will be such tribulation as has not been from the beginning of the creation that God created until now, and never will be." Mark 13:19.  " "Let no one deceive you in any way. For that day will not come, unless the rebellion comes first, and the man of lawlessness is revealed, the son of destruction, who opposes and exalts himself against every so-called god or object of worship, so that he takes his seat in the temple of God, proclaiming himself to be God." 2 Thess. 2:3,4. "But understand this, that in the last days there will come times of difficulty. For people will be lovers of self, lovers of money, proud, arrogant, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, heartless, unappeasable, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not loving good,  treacherous, reckless, swollen with conceit, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, having the appearance of godliness, but denying its power. Avoid such people." 2 Timothy 3:1-5.

To some, this is crazy talk. Bringing up the end times doesn't help reconcile differences or wrestle with the issues of climate change. Pointing out that racial disparities, wars, political infighting, and the now and ever-present pandemic are symptoms of a deeper problem causes some to roll their eyes. I am not a "sky is falling" kind of guy. I don't wring my hands, worrying that using my credit card will usher in a cashless society and the beast's mark. However, I think it is healthy to be reminded that at the core of all national, international, and personal emergencies is the problem of sin. 

Bringing together the left and the right without understanding that sin eats away at our attempts to cooperate will be futile. Even a genuine desire for racial reconciliation will be marred by prejudice, anger, hatred, bitterness, selfishness, and pride. These inherent characteristics are symptomatic of our sinful condition. Throw in everyone's personal agendas and the landscape of world peace, cultural cohesion, and individual peace flies out the window.

The only way to resolve these issues is to identify and agree on something bigger than themselves. That is why almost every sci-fi movie has the world setting aside their differences for the common cause of survival against an alien invasion. Thus the Apocalypse.

"For he himself is our peace, who has made us both one and has broken down in his flesh the dividing wall of hostility by abolishing the law of commandments expressed in ordinances, that he might create in himself one new man in place of the two, so making peace,  and might reconcile us both to God in one body through the cross, thereby killing the hostility." Ephesians 2:14-16.

This passage is specifically addressing Jews and Gentiles, but apply it to any groups or individuals who are at odds. If Jesus is our peace, he breaks down the dividing wall between God and us, so that the barriers that divide people will crumble beneath the cross. If Jesus is our peace, how can democrat and republican not work to get along? If Jesus is our peace, how can I not see my brother of color with value and respect? If Jesus is our peace, then the rifts between spouses, children, and friends should be mended under Jesus' authority. 

Alas, if only we all would find this peace in Jesus. Until then, it is incumbent on us, who have found this peace, to bring it to a hurting world. But when we act as if we do not have the peace of Jesus, our call for hope falls in deaf ears. 

There is a day coming when every knee will bow at the name of Jesus, and the world will be reconciled to God. In preparation for that glorious day, let's give the world a taste of its sweetness. Tell them about Jesus. I'm just saying.

What Stands In Your Way?

Five Junior High Students and I bushwhacked through the Blue Ridge mountains, all we had was a map and compass to lead the way. Our very first evening was a disaster. I had dolled out my matches to other groups and now found myself short as we tried to start a fire with wet wood. We ended up eating cold hotdogs.

The following day was all about reaching the next destination, but we weren’t going in the right direction. I had the teens stay put as I trudged ahead to find a significant landmark. I returned to find my team smiling with a fist full of matches. Some people on horseback rode by and were willing to share their supplies.

We eventually made our way to a river that was a favorite spot for local campers. We set up camp and used the matches, sparingly, to start a fire. The wood was still wet. Just when I was about to strike my last rationed match, one of the teens produced a bottle of alcohol he borrowed from a nearby camper. We used it to help start the fire.

The next day we plotted course and hiked into the forest. I heard a crash behind me and found a student with his backpack on the ground. The strap had broken. I patched it with moleskin, and we headed out only to be stopped by a cavernous ravine. Going around would add hours to our hike, and going through it would be dangerous for the teen with the broken pack. As I sat there contemplating our next move, a student approached me with an offer. Someone they befriended the night before was offering to drive us up the mountain and around the ravine. It wasn’t how we were supposed to accomplish our goal, but I relented for convenience over pride. It shaved five hours off our day’s hike.

Matches, wet wood, and a ravine, we’re obstacles that posed challenges that at the moment seemed impossible. But the young men with me saw past the immediate need and found ways around the obstacles. They weren’t confined to conventional answers because they were not bound to my need to be a purist backpacker. 

What obstacles stand in your way? Is it a lost job, a broken marriage, struggling teens, or a strained relationship? Do you find yourself in financial difficulty or with an illness that threatens to ruin you? Maybe emotionally, you are on the edge of depression, anxiety, or fear. 

Obstacles can present themselves as challenges to conquer or paralyze us into inaction. I have found that three things are essential in overcoming obstacles.

1. Understanding the big picture of God’s will. God has a more extensive plan, then what is happening in my life. It helps me stop thinking that the world revolves around me and that what is happening is an act of God’s judgment.
2. Understand God’s specific will for me as an individual. The Bible instructs us how to live with our spouse, treat our children, and act toward other people. He shows us how to deal with emotional difficulties and calls us to live in community to help one another in impossible situations. Understanding God’s big picture and how I fit into that plan gives me a framework to set goals.
3. Make a plan. If I have emotional issues, what and where do I go to get help? What do I need to do to help me reengage my spouse? What steps do I need to put into place to parent better? 
4. Find someone to hold you accountable, pray with you, and walk with you through your difficulties.

Jeremiah 29:11 (ESV)

11 For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.

God has a plan for our future. God desires good for us, not evil. As Paul said, ” Romans 8:31, ”What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us?” 

I’m just saying.

What was lost is now found

I wrote an email to the church's bookkeeper. It read,

Dear bookkeeper, I lost my credit card, my debit card, and my driver's license. I also lost a receipt." However, I found the credit card, debit card, and driver's license. Still no receipt."

Along with these items, I lost something else of greater value, or rather it slipped off the finger and wasn't noticed. It was a stressful weak to think that losing them would cost me money, time, and the hassle of replacing them. To say the least, the embarrassment I would face when in told the finance committee.

In the face of these losses, what are we to do? Search every nook and cranny for sure, and that was done twice, if not ten times. I could start the process of replacement, but what if I found them the next day? I held off. Pray? Of course, prayer, and we all do it. In our frustration and desperation, we cry out to God for help, but do we really? Is it really a prayer for divine intervention, or is it like talking to Porthos, "come on, boy, help me find it." A response isn't expected. I think the reason is that we don't believe our situation is of value to God. Why would he care about something so insignificant in the grand scheme of things? I don't think God cares about the ring or the credit cards, but he does care about me. I'm His son, and I might put too much value in bling, but I'm still his child. What parent wouldn't bend over backward for their child? As a Pastor, I know all of this, have counseled and preached this, but I often don't practice it. In an altruistic fashion, I should let God take care of the more significant problems of life.

When I think that way, I reduce God to look like me. I make him small and impotent. But God is none of those, he is enormous, and I'm talking about out of this world big. He is everywhere at all times. God is all-powerful, and nothing can stand in his way or thwart his plans. He knows everything, and nothing is hidden from him. I believe this about God, so, in both situations, I prayed. But the question is, "what do I pray?" I simply prayed, "Father, open my eyes to see what I have lost." Not fancy, but to the point.

That night I was vacuuming the living room, where we are every night. There it was, in plain sight, the ring that had been lost and is now found. Rebecca and I rejoiced greatly. That left the credit cards and driver's license to find. After the first experience, I went straight to prayer. "Father, open my eyes so I can see." I retraced my steps and even looked in places I had never been to. I began to lose hope that they would be found.

On the way out of the house yesterday morning, I decided to look under the couch one more time. They weren't there, but I did see the corner of something under the side table. You are right; it was my cards. 

Prayer is a mystery that God desires for his children. It is for our sake that he asks us to pray. God doesn't need to interact with us but wants to, and when we go to him, he delights in seeing us smile. Our Father relishes the moment our eyes light up, and we see the object that once was lost but now is found. It gives us a glimpse into the heart of God for his willfully lost children ("Adam, where are you?"), yet sought us and adopted us into his family ("I have come to seek and save the lost," -Jesus-).

Prayer is a mystery. These experiences remind me that though I might want to give up, my Heavenly Father never will… I'm just praying.

Stinking fish and fast currents

Fish stink. I don't mind eating them, but catching and cleaning them is better left to …real men. I have ventured into the waters and cast my hook into the deep, and those times were meaningful. This particular morning was crisp, even as the sun cleared the sky of clouds. A draped backdrop of Alaskan mountains capped with dabs of snow lingered from the endless winter nights. My fiancé and I drove to the two-mile mark and unloaded our gear next to a small eddy. The swirling water provided a backwash and momentary respite for fish making their way upriver. Untangling the borrowed net, we cast it in hopes of snagging a succulent Sockeye Salmon.

For twelve hours, we persisted with little success. If not for the beautiful company, I would have given up hours ago. The sun dipped slightly behind the distant mountain singling us to pack our gear. Then the net wiggled! We caught something! The small boat next to the shore served as a ferry. Hand over hand, I checked every inch of the net until water splashed my face from the thrashing fish. It wasn't the largest salmon, but it was ours. In my enthusiasm, I let go of the net, and the strong current of the Chilkoot river tugged at the small boat until it sucked me downstream. 

I held the panic at bay and grabbed the rubber knob on the engine rope, and pulled. Nothing. I tried again. Nothing. Again and again, I pulled the roped, checked the choke, and prayed. The boat moved quickly, but it wasn't the speed or where the river was taking me that drove my fear. It was the large debris that could poke a hole, flip, or sink the small craft. I pulled the rope again—a slight sputter. At the moment before I resigned myself to be swept away, the engine sputtered alive.

When I pulled into the backwash, Rebecca's reception made it all worthwhile. I had faced the monster of the deep and survived. Salmon never tasted so good.

Jesus calls us to be fishermen. The hours are long, and for some, the catch is meager, and for others, it is bountiful (Two miles up from us they couldn't clear their nets fast enough). Like the river, however, life can carry us places we never thought of going. Currents of greed, eddies of lust, and debris of anger and bitterness threaten us every day.  That's why we are told to watch and be ready. Watch for opportunities and be prepared to share the gospel (2 Timothy 4:2). Watch for the evil one, and be ready to run from his temptations (2 Timothy 2:22). Watch for the Lord's return, and be prepared when he calls your name and says, "well done, good and faithful servant. Enter into my joy" (Matthew 25:21). Watch the distant horizon, and be ready for the long obedience (Matthew 24:13). 

When the sun sets behind the distant horizon, and we are ushered into the great banquet hall, seeing Jesus will have made the journey worthwhile. I'm just saying.

Watch your underbelly...I’m just saying

You never know what you will learn when you walk into someone's office. A friend owns Bluffton's first safe. It's not very big, has some interesting artwork, and was built to keep thieves from stealing its contents (like all safes). Ever since he took possession, the door was locked in the open positions. My friend had some numbers, but he couldn't get them to work. Was it twice to the left then once back, or spin it all the way around and start over? It seemed as if the safe would never be useable. That is until he met an old safecracker. Unlocking the safe is easy when you know how to take the back panel off the door and manipulate the tumblers. 

The safecracker took one look at the safe and said, "this an old turtle safe." I had the same question, "what's a turtle safe?" Turtle safes were nearly impenetrable with concrete reinforced walls. There was only one weakness; the bottom. To save money, they made the bottoms out of a thin tin. All a robber had to do was tip the safe over, expose the safe's soft underbelly, and in no time the safe's contents were stolen. The name refers to the soft underbelly of a turtle. The hard shell protects them, but turn them over, and before you know it, you have turtle soup.

Everyone has a weakness. Sampson had his hair (rather his ego), Achilles had his tendon, and the Apostle Paul had a thorn in his flesh. As men, we abhor weakness. We don't like to fail, let alone for anyone to see us cry. We would rather wander around for hours than ask for help. But it is our weaknesses that define us, not our strengths. The Apostle Paul said, "if I must boast, I will boast of the things that show my weakness." (2 Cor. 11:30). He knew that Jesus' power is perfected in our weakness (2 Cor. 12:9).  In our weakness, God works in our hearts to will and want to do his good pleasure. "For The sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities, for when I am weak, then I am strong." (2 Cor. 12:10).

There are many talented people in the church, and though God delights in our use of His gifts, he would rather see us struggle and depend on him than for us to build our ego in the accomplishments of our own ability. But don't be fooled. Satan is seeking to know our soft underbelly and exploit our weakness for his sake and the church's destruction. Once a weakness is exposed, Satan picks at it, and our flesh quickly gives in. That is why we need to hand over our weakness to the Father and ask Him to fill us with the Holy Spirit. He will empower us to walk according to the Spirit and not the flesh. 

Therefore, put on God's armor, and don't forget to adjust the breastplate of righteousness. If you forget, you will expose your soft underbelly. And the evil one might sift you like he did Peter. In it all, we trust Jesus, so that we can live for Him in His strength. I'm just saying…

I don't get it...

I am an ignorant white man, but I am trying to understand. My problem is the never-ending flood of information that has to be sifted, weighed, and judged for its veracity. Truth is important to me. Grace is important to me. Love, mercy, hope, and peace are important to me. The love of my fellow man, filtered through the eyes of Jesus is important to me. So please, take the following through this lens.

What I don't get.

I don't get how my white brothers and sisters can still believe that, despite their upbringing, there isn't any institutional racism in the United States. As a nation, we have come a long way from the days of slavery, but we have a long way to go. When a person walks into a store and asks the Latino manger if they could speak to a white manager, the deep-seated racism in some is obvious.

I don't get how my brothers of color can justify their expression of anger through violence. A friend said the revolutionary war began with the protest and destruction of private property. The Sons of Liberty indeed tossed tea that didn't belong to them into the sea, but they went out of their way NOT to destroy private property. The night they threw the tea into the sea, the only piece of private property broken was the captain's padlock. The next day the captain received a brand new one. As the Apostle Paul said, "Be angry but don't sin."

I don't understand how some of my white brothers and sisters who have adopted black children from African countries are now experts on discrimination and race issues. They post articles proving a narrative that aligns their view, while others post articles touting opposing positions. They might have a new perspective of discrimination, but the deeply rooted racism embedded in our culture is different. 

I don't get why the failings of historical figures abrogate the good they did in the cause of justice and liberty for all, including the release of slaves. I have been reading how bad Abraham Lincoln was because he didn't preach against slavery early in his political career, and anything he did later was only for political reasons. Some of the accusations include a belief in a new race of mixed colors, the womanizing of black slaves fathering children, and a political opportunist. Abraham-Lincoln lived when politics were volatile, and the truth wasn't necessary to accuse and slander someone's character. Much of what people have posted against Abraham Lincoln was rumor and innuendo. He wasn't a perfect man, but without his steady hand at the presidency's helm, slavery would have taken longer to abolish. It's easy to look back and ignore all the good to perpetuate at particular narrative.

I don't get how my white brothers and sisters can be insensitive to the impact of statues of confederate generals who fought to perpetuate slavery. They remind us of our history, but what part of history does it glorify. I have no attachment to any statues of men. If a Lennonesc statue stands to glorify a part of history diminished by its removal, do so. But be careful when you throw stones at someone else's hero because they will find some to throw at your hero's. The Bible says we are all sinners. 

I don't get how a statue can be such a focus of hatred by my black brothers. Muslims in the Middle East did the same thing when they destroyed ancient historical sights because they were offensive. Where does it stop? It seems that statues are convenient targets because they can't fight back, and if you say anything contrary to the narrative, you are labeled. History will pin that accusation on your chest, and it won't be easy to shake.

I don't get how my white brothers can't recognize that the victor and the majority write history. As white people, what we see as historically important, might not be significant to our brothers of color. The connection between East and West by the railroad was nothing but a feat of the American will. Or should I say upon the backs of Chinese labor? There was plenty of abuse by Chinese brokers who made money enslaving their countrymen, but nothing like the wealthy investors' and rail Barrons' indifference.

Truth is found in the person of Jesus Christ. In Him, the barriers that divide us have been torn down. All across the world, Christians worship the same God and Savior, Jesus Christ. It may look different in Japan than in Egypt, South America, the U.S., but we are of one body, with one head, and one hope. Come quickly, Lord Jesus. I'm just saying…

Look What I Can Do...I’m just saying

"I can tie my shoe all by myself."

"I can open the door all by myself."

"I can do it all by myself."

There is nothing cuter than a three-year-old or five-year-old showing off his new skill. An educator friend of mine once observed that young children go through cycles to learn a new skill. 

1. See the skill they want to accomplish, i.e., walking.
2. Attempt the skill they want to achieve and fail, i.e., falling.
3. Frustration at not performing the desired skill, i.e., crying.
4. Getting back up, trying again, and when they succeed, the child celebrates.
5. Repeat the cycle until the new skill is learned. 

My friend said the cycle was approximately 3 to 6 months, depending on the child's skill level. That is why she observed, "Young children can be fussy during this time. They are trying, failing, learning, and celebrating so many new skills at one time." It's incredible how God has created their capacity to learn.

As parents, we spend a lot of time celebrating our children's accomplishments and showering them with praise. Until the day we don't. Somewhere along the line, the cuteness of "I can do it by myself" turns into individualism and rude behavior. "Your part of this family, act like it." "We are a family, and we will do things together." "Let me help you with that; I can do it a lot faster."

On the other side of the spectrum, we hear phrases like, "good job, you can accomplish anything just hang in there." "Don't listen to your coach; I think you're the best player out there." "I know it's not fair. They shouldn't judge your performance; you have a good heart." This why adolescence has continued 

I remember doing variations of both avenues of parenting. It's a wonder that any child grows up well adjusted. The same is true in the church. No one likes a showoff, so we are careful with our praise. At the same time, we don't want to hurt anyone's feelings, so we tell them they are doing a good job when, in reality, it is mediocre at best. Then there is this famous quote, "God doesn't call the qualified, but qualifies the called." I understand the sentiment, but if we are not careful, anyone who believes they are called to a task can say, "but God has called me."

I was recruiting someone for children's ministries and chose the most qualified and passionate person. The next day a woman approached me and said that she had been praying about it and believed that God had called her to this particular ministry and that I should let the other person go and chose her. I wouldn't do that, of course, and she got mad and eventually left the church.

It is a balance as parents and as leaders in the church when it comes to encouragement, praise, evaluation, and judgment. We are to be patient with one another as well as admonish one another. We are to encourage one another, but not puff one another up. We are to seek qualified people but give room for God's gifting. We are to train while acknowledging natural ability. It is incredible that any Christian grows to be a well-adjusted follower of Jesus.

My mom always told me, "Paul, blow your own horn because no one else will." It is a balancing act to put yourself in the public eye. You either know God wants you to do something specific or test the waters and see if it is right for you. One thing is for sure, "1 Peter 5:6 (ESV) Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you." I'm just saying…

Sitting on the bottom looking up

Remember my horse blaze? I eventually sold him and bought scuba diving equipment. He found a good home, and I had a new hobby. When I became a Christian, my new family included a couple of guys who wanted to take scuba lessons, and I was all in. The first step in scuba diving is certification, so we signed up and took the plunge.

Fast forward one year. We were certified, practiced, and ready for adventure, and living in Florida meant diving in the Keys. We rented a small trailer and headed south. The keys themselves are rocks sticking out of the water, where a few palm trees started to grow. The real beauty was underneath the water, and the place we picked for our first solo excursion was Christ of the  Abyss. According to Wikipedia 

The statue (one of several submerged around the world) was presented to the Underwater Society of America in New York in 1962…On August 25, 1965, it was placed in approximately 25 feet (7.6 m) of water off the coast of Key Largo, Florida, near Dry Rocks, approximately six miles east of Key Largo in the National Marine Sanctuary, just outside of John Pennekamp State Park. The statue weighs around 260 kg, and the concrete base to which it is attached weighs approximately 9 tons.

Thirteen years after it was submerged, we headed out to explore this odd addition to an underwater park. Scuba diving is surreal. You are encased in water, with minimal sound, and you breathe through a thin hose leading to a tank of life-giving air. These are small but essential tasks you have to perform on your way down and up, but those were insignificant compared to the marvels that opened before us. The variety

of fish. The color and complexity of even the simplest of organisms. Then, breaking through the haze of saltwater was the statue of Jesus, arms stretched upward in an offering of thanksgiving. Its enormity is hard to explain. We circled it as if hovering high above in the sky. Its hands growing bigger the closer we got, and I was swept up in it's Majesty. All these years later and I shiver at the experience.

Jeremiah wrote, " (ESV) Am I a God at hand, declares the LORD, and not a God far away? Can a man hide himself in secret places so that I cannot see him? Declares the LORD. Do I not fill heaven and earth? declares the LORD." (Jeremiah 23:23,24)

We can not hide from the living God. " (ESV) 7 Where shall I go from your Spirit? Or where shall I flee from your presence?" (Psalm 139:7). No matter how hard we try, His presence is everywhere. Since that is the case, we might as well stop running and submit to His goodwill. The reason people don't want to submit is that they are afraid of losing their autonomy. But it isn't until we give ourselves over to God, in Christ, that we know what it means to be free. Jesus said, "the truth will set you free…So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed." (John 8:36).

Like the scuba tank and the air hose sets me free to explore the depths of the sea, so our life in Christ sets us free to explore the depth of God's love. You can't outrun Him. You can't hide from Him. You might as well give yourself over to Him and be set Free! I'm just saying.

When hanging on is pure Joy

I've got the joy, joy, joy joy, down in my heart

Down in my heart, I've got the joy, joy, joy, joy 

Down in my heart to stay.*

What does it mean to be joyful in the middle sorrow? What does it mean to be joyful in the middle of a conflict? What does it mean to have joy when the world is going crazy? What in the world did James mean when he wrote, "Consider it all joy, brothers when you encounter all sorts of trials." He was the Pastor of the church in Jerusalem.

Everyone has gone through trials. Some are bigger than others, but none of them are pleasant at the time. When I was in the eighth grade, I had two horses. Blaze was a Morgan, and my other horse was Appaloosa. I had Blaze two years before my second horse (correct I can't remember his name. He wasn't with us that long). Blaze was a great horse, but he also had his moments. He could be headstrong and once in a while would bolt toward the stables. I didn't have the strength to reign him in. Through low hanging tree limbs, across paved roads, jumping over ditches, and all I could do was hang on. With my heart pounding and my arms wrapped around his neck, these words slipped through my lips, "this is pure joy!" 

On the contrary, the things I was screaming had little to do with joy. In the moment of trials, it is difficult to see through its fog and embrace the joy that God wants us to have. It is before the trial comes or afterward, that we prepare our hearts. No one likes talking about death or accidents. We whitewash life for our children, and the  result is that when trials come they think it should never happen to them. The reality isn't, "why do bad things happen, " but "why don't they happen more often."

I paid $100 for my second horse, and he was tall and proud. The horse never liked standing still, and when you put a bridle in his mouth, his feet began to move. He just wanted to run, and that's why he was so cheap. The prior owner couldn't control him,was knocked off and paralyzed. I knew going in that this horse had a greater potential to hurt me then Blaze ever did. I was prepared for the worse. When I mounted him, I never gave him a slack reign. He pranced and bucked, but I never lost control. As long as I held him under control, then he was a joy to ride. 

My brother didn't have the same kind of control, and when the horse wanted to run, he thought, "I'll let you." He ran the horse until it dropped dead. When you are unprepared for trials, your first reaction is critical, your emotions run away with you. "it's not fair." “God must not be living." "why is he doing this to me?" "I'm not going to believe in a God like that." Trials have shipwrecked many people's faith because they never thought it could happen to them.

When we believe that Christians are above feeling the pain of trials, we need to watch our faith. But trials are a part of living in a sin-cursed world. People get sick and die. Disease can infect our bodies. Economies can collapse, and we can lose our jobs. Babies can be born with a disability. Spouses cheat, children rebel, friends turn on us, and the church can fail us. When we grasp that conflict is a way of life and start to see how God uses them to shape our character, we can find joy.

"(ESV) Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing." James 1:2-4.

Sit down with your children, your spouse, or your friends and talk about the hard things of life. Share with your children how God is good even through the roughest times. Then remember from where God has brought you rejoice. I'm just saying.

*(I've Got the Joy | Hymnary.org. https://hymnary.org/text/i_have_the_joy_joy_joy_joy_down_in_my_h)

*(James 1: 2-4 ESV - Testing of Your Faith - Count it all .... https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=James+1%3A+2-4&version=ESV)

Restoring Fratured Relationships

I said this past Sunday that restoring a brother caught in a sin is not an option for believers. When we act in gentleness, we are imitating the gentleness and grace of God. I said that restoration begins with confrontation, but I didn't go into very much detail. 

Two types of situations that call for reconciliation. First is the issue of sin. Sin breaks the relationship between the perpetrator and the offended. Sin also separates a brother/sister from the larger body if there isn't repentance. In both cases, confession and repentance are necessary.

Secondly, relationships go sour when people have strongly held convictions or opinions that conflict with someone else's closely held convictions and opinions. Sin is not at issue, but there is a temptation to become angry, frustrated, and selfish. When I hold my opinions tightly or confuse opinion with truth, friction, and division are inevitable. The right moment needs to present itself. So how do we restore relationships when opinions are the center of the divide?

Come together in humility. The need is to come together, and the attitude is humility. The lack of restoration is usually the result of the conflicting parties not coming together. They have given up and believe that restoration isn't possible. Often the reason restoration isn't possible is because there is confusion about what needs to be restored. When people have tightly held opinions, they believe that restoration is only possible if the other party agrees with them. Yet, it is possible to have different opinions and still find restoration if the parties move away from their opinions and focus on their relationship. Putting the other first can only happen if the parties come together in humility. Paul wrote, "Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests but also to the interests of others." Philippians 2:3,4.

Give and Take. When strongly held opinions come into conflict, flexibility is hard. That is why it is essential to ask, "what do we have in common?" Even if the opinions are polar opposite, believers always have Jesus as their head, and the Holy Spirit has already broken down the dividing wall. It is our responsibility to maintain unity. For restoration to occur, each party needs to come to the table ready to give up something and take responsibility for their part in the conflict. This doesn't mean we compromise our integrity and beliefs, but it does mean that we acknowledge the broken relationship and confess where we have caused our brother/sister to sin. We may need to confess our attitude, curt answers, and unforgiving stubbornness.

Forgive and forget. Paul told the Colossians in 3:13 "bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive." We forgive because we are forgiven. The sin in this situation is the inability to live together in harmony. If not dealt with, strongly held opinions will create a divide that will blossom into full-grown bitterness. Each party needs to express confession and ask for forgiveness. Requests for forgiveness, Jesus said (Matthew 18:22), should always be granted. Then we need to forget. I know it is almost impossible to forget an emotionally charged situation. Both parties need to forget and not hold their position over the head of their fellow believer. I believe we often withhold forgiveness because, when accepted, it removes the power we may have had over our brother/sister. The complainants can no longer drudge it up in a subsequent disagreement. 

Lastly, kiss and make up, or hug, or shake hands. Resolving an issue with a kind physical touch breaks down barriers. It is a show of mutual respect and openness. 

The Apostle Paul penned, "We who are strong have an obligation to bear with the failings of the weak and not to please ourselves." Romans 15:1. If we can trust the Lord to move a mountain, we can surely trust him to restore broken relationships. That is why Jesus died and rose again. I'm just saying.

You who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness" Gal. 6:2

 

 

 

 

What saddens my heart

What makes my heart sad…I’m just saying

 

3^rd grade was a tough year. We moved from Tampa, Florida to Altas, Oklahoma. It was my dad’s new duty assignment. Settling into school was difficult and I responded by acting the clown. It made people laugh, but didn’t make them friends. My teacher, Mrs. Thompson tried hard, but was constantly disciplining me for bad grades and forged signatures. I wasn’t very good at it and every time I tried to forge my parents name I was caught. The worst part of 3^rd grade was when my brother turned to me and said, “quit following me. Find your own friends.” I was in the third grade, what did I know about making friends. It was hurtful and the disappointment was seared into my memory. Ever since then I have taken up the cause of those on the fringe, who don’t fit in, or who others might set aside. 

 

As a Youth Pastor I spent my time between the highly committed teens and the teens that no one wanted, literally. As a Senior Pastor Sunday Mornings were about connecting with the marginal, like the man whose dreadlocks reached his ankles or the ex biker gang member and ex drug addict. I wanted them to feel welcomed and hopefully make their way into the life of the church. It’s a hard ministry and I wish I could report a lot of success. There were too many obstacles for them personally and within the church. Our nice clean and sanitized religion gets in the way of our call to love. Church people were nice but no one  invited them over for Sunday lunch. There were no midweek get togethers that included an invitation for them. We were too nice to infringe on their time. This always saddens my heart.

 

In 2013 the Lord laid it on my heart to contact people who I could recall that were hurt by me, directly or indirectly. I had never intended to be a stumbling block to them, but the flesh has a way and will find every opportunity to fracture the body. I wrote, sent emails, and called to make amends. I was well received, confession was made and forgiveness received. A few didn’t remember a time that I had hurt them and felt it was just my perception. Either way their was healing. I have found that people, good church people let hurts fester, boil just under the skin, and then rupture into bitterness. Rifts between brothers and sister become evident and instead of confession and forgiveness people isolate and fade away. This is not what God intended, and it saddens my heart.

 

When you preach or write the by product is that your words are open for everyone’s scrutiny. Just recently a well known pastor said some troubling words about leadership and obedience. It set the Christian social media a blaze with profunctories and opinions. Some of them well thought out and others harsh and without substance. I believe that every Christian has a responsibility to evaluate every word that comes from a preacher’s mouth. That can makes Pastors squeamish. They might tailor their messages in such a way to appeal to everyone. Every Sunday morning is a Pastor’s moment of evaluation and the pews are full of willing critics. I welcome feedback. Just recently someone sent me an email challenging me on a specific point. It was a good point and a different perspective. But people (and this is not directed at anyone I know) can be cruel. They will speak highly of so and so, and not so much on someone else. Usually it is because either it agrees with their position or it doesn’t. We can be quick to correct and condemn without consideration of the affect on the body of Christ. And if the Pastor hurts someone’s feeling during the week, then their Sunday message falls on deaf ears. I get it, I am the same way, but it still saddens my heart.

 

I appreciate people who muster their courage and come talk to me. We might not agree, but restoration of relationships are what matter. The only way restoration can happen is for people to confess to one another and forgive one another as God in Christ has forgiven us. 

 

Who do you need to go see? If it is me my door is always open and if you walk in to restore a broken relationship….my heart will be full of gladness….I’m just saying.

Waisting Away....I’m just saying

Remember the Atkins diet? I do. In fact I lost quiet a bit of weight. It was an awesome weight loss plan. Basically you could eat all the protein you wanted. Then there were the few carbohydrates you could eat. The idea was to put the body into ketosis (starvation) and let it begin to eat its own fat. It worked. But Rebecca remembers it not so awesomely. She saw my face become drawn, my skin looked pale, and my obsession on weight loss was borderline anorexic. The only negative I saw was that everything I ate tasted like protein. I was literally wasting away.

 

The truth is that we are all wasting away. From the moment we are born our DNA is coded for only so many years. Our body stops growing around the age of 25. From there the DNA structure is continually healing itself until around the age of 55. From then on our bodies can’t hold themselves together and we begin to waste away. Aging is God’s way of weaning us from this life.

 

But the Apostle Paul tells us not to lose heart. 2 Corinthians 4:16-18 says, “So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day. For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal.”

 

The momentary pressures of this life do not compare to the eternal pressure of glory. In other words the moments that seem inconvenient, that cause frustrations, anger, resentment, and pain will last for just a short time. But the weight of glory, the crown of life, the reward of the Father will last eternally. So we endure. No, we more than endure, we overcome!

 

As one person put it, “God has not made us who we are in spite of our trials, but because of them.” Nothing catches God off guard, therefore everything is allowed in order to produce in us greater grace, and more glory for God. So, though our outward body wastes away our inner self is being renewed daily. Each day that I allow God to teach me grace, the greater the weight of glory. Each day that I allow God to teach me forgiveness, the greater the weight of glory. Each moment that I allow God to teach me to love my enemies, do good to those who speak ill of me, and to pray for those who persecute me, the greater the weight of glory.

 

It is contradictory because the world says that to overcome we must push each other aside, climb our way to the top, and live in a dog eat dog world. But a world like that produces anxiety and depression. And to all who wear those bonds Jesus says, “come to me all who are weary and heavy laden (wasting away), take my yoke upon yourself for it is light and I will give you rest.”

 

I will not waste away silently. Instead I will lift my voice and declare the wonder of my God, His mighty work of reconciliation, and His life giving Spirit. One day I will be ushered into His presence to receive a crown of life whose weight comes through the eternal glory of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ…I’m just saying.

Happy Father’s Day...I’m just saying

I have been a father for 37 years. It was an extraordinary feeling to hold my first son for the first time. It was a mixture of marvel and trepidation. How would I be able to raise this boy to be a godly young man? Each time a son was born that sense of wonder and caution played through my mind. Holding each of them and realizing that each of my boys was different made the task all the more awesome.

It’s a cliché to say that I have the best boys ever to have been born, but I would have to say in my case it is true. That’s not to say they haven’t had their challenges, but overall God has blessed me with boys who have grown to be godly men. My oldest is the steady rock, my middle son is the carefree musician, and my youngest is the adventurous spirit. Yet, they all are a mix of each. I could go on with a litany of their personalities, but I want to highlight what I believe is the bedrock of the moniker “son.”

When Rebecca and I found ourselves in Wisconsin, unemployed and homeless, we weren’t sure what we were going to do. As soon as my middle son heard the news, he called me and said, “dad if you need a place you can live with us until you get back on your feet." We moved in with he and his wife for 5 months. They have a small two bedroom, one bathroom, home. With Rebecca and me, and our dog, it was a tight fit. For the entire time they were gracious and never complained.

Our oldest Son invited us to come live with them for a couple of months. Living over seas made it a little more difficult, but with the internet I was able to continue to seek employment while 2000 miles away. In fact it was while in Bahrain I began discussions with the church where I now serve. Our time we them and our grandchildren was precious and humbling.

We never lived with our youngest, but when we moved to Ohio they are only a couple of hours away. And though we wished all of our boys were within the same proximity, having one is wonderful. He and his wife graciously come and visit us, making the two-hour drive without ever complaining. 

All of them call without being asked. They call to see how we are doing, seeks our advice, and when the winds are favorable all them came for Christmas last year. That was as close to heaven as we will ever get. To top it all off they have married wonderful godly women who love Jesus!

I know not everyone has the privilege of being a father, or a father of children like mine. Those men who do not have children I want to thank you for being friends to my children, surrogates who have stepped in and befriended them when I couldn’t be there. You have, in many ways, been as much a father to them as I have, and to you I say happy father’s day. If the opportunity to have your own children never comes, I pray God will bless you with the opportunities to help other fathers who need your kindness and compassion.

For fathers who have children that are not walking with the Lord, are rebellious, or estranged from you, I pray that our merciful Heavenly Father will heal your wounded heart, that your children will one day be reconciled. I believe God has a special place in His heart for you because you have endured the curse of sin and have carried the title “Father” even when it hurts so much. Our heavenly Father understands.

On this commercially minded, card selling, product pushing day I want to thank the Lord for being my Father and teaching me how love my boys. Happy Father’s Day ….I’m just saying…