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Because I Said So

Children in the first century didn't have any rights. They were under the absolute authority of their father. He literally had their life in their hands. That is why it was important for them to be obedient, because it brought them longer life. Yet, the gospel redeems children from the brutality of the world and lifts them up as valuable in the eyes of God, and therefore, in the eyes of fathers.

The Apostle Paul gives father's very specific instructions on how to relate to their children. First, he doesn't single out boys. This is important because in the first century father's had little to do with their daughters specifically and children generally. Wives raised children until they were close to their teens, at which point the father took his son under his wing and taught him the family trade. Girls remained in the home and under their mothers care until they were married. By identifying children in this command Paul raises the status of not just children but girls as well (if you remember in Proverbs the writer always addressed the sons).

Secondly, Paul instructs fathers not to provoke their children to anger. The Greek word means to exasperate or irritate. When seeking the unity within the home (and thus in the church) father's have a responsibility to treat their children with respect. But what does it mean not irritate your children? I am sure my boys could tell you that I irritated them all the time, whether it was through discipline or embarrassment (and I don't think the Apostle would deprive a father of the joy of embarrassing his children in front of their friends).

There is nothing more exasperating then demanding unreasonable expectations. Mothers are more compassionate, but fathers tend to tell their children to stop crying and get over it. Unreasonable expectations are the sign of weak parenting. Each child is different. They have different personalities, different, gifts, different intellectual and physical capabilities. Parents who expect the same from each child hasn't taken the opportunity to learn about their children's particular needs.

Unreasonable expectations sets the course of the child's life. Parents who decide for their children what they will be, what career they will pursue, what person they will marry, or what school they will attend exasperate children who are trying to make their own way. Good parenting sees how a child is bent and guides them in the way they should go.

Unreasonable expectations does not allow for free exchange of ideas and emotions. "Because I said so," may be true, but it stifles communication, reasoning skills, and compromise. I don't believe you can reason with a two year old and I have watched mothers argue with toddlers trying to get them to understand and obey. Explaining is an important tool in the growth of the child, and encourages them to use reasoning skills. A simple explanation for a toddler and a conversation with a teenager. When parents engage their children in the rationale of their decision it helps children to form good reasoning skills. They may not agree with the decision and you might have to end with "because I said so," but it should never be the starting point. 

The third part of Paul's instructions is for the father to engage in the discipline and instruction of his children. Parents should always display a united front before the children. That means parents need to agree on discipline techniques, standards for video games, TV, and friends. Children are good at divide and conquer,mane if parents don't agree then watch out.

Our boys hated the answer to their question, "let me talk to you mom (or dad)." Ahhhh, they would say. "Mom said I needed to ask you." Which meant Rebecca and I needed to talk. We typically agreed that the most conservative opinion was followed. I was more apt to let them wander the streets aimlessly. But usually if Rebecca or I said no that was the answer. 

Parents need to parent ahead of their children. Too often parenting is reactionary and last minute. But looking at the next stage of your child's development  and determining your decisions ahead of time takes a lot of pressure out parenting. That's why the third child is easier. By then you have figured out what battles are worth fighting. Thinking ahead with the first child will help eliminate unreasonable expectations.

Parenting should be in the Lord. There is nothing more frightening then your children walking away from the faith. Parents hover, protect, and manipulate to keep this from happening. In the end the child must make his own decisions. Again discipline and instruction in the Lord means there is a base or moral expectations and personal value that shapes parental discipline and instruction. 

This includes theology and the disciplines of the faith. It means teaching didacticly and by example. It means serving your children and teaching them to serve. It means asking for forgiveness and extending grace. It means knowing when punishment is redemptive and mercy preferable. It means being sure of what you believe, but allowing room for questions of doubt. It means guiding not pushing. It means eventually letting go and trusting the Holy Spirit.

I have three godly young men who have married godly women and it brings joy to my soul. They are different and are finding their way in life differently. We don't agree on every point of our faith, but we are free to express lovingly our points of view. Parenting never ends, but it morphs and grows. I am thankful that my children still want to talk with me about life and faith, and I hope that the mistakes I have made as a father have been covered by the grace of God and my children's love.

Their are few guarantees in parenting, but their are clear instructions. Have at it..I'm just saying...

Ephesians 6:4 "Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord."

The Destruction Of Envy

Listening to the speaker I heard nothing that he said. I can speak as well as he can, I thought. I have interesting stories that make good points. Why does he draw large crowds and I speak in abscurity? I don't wish him ill, but every time I see him speak I can't think of anything else, and it was difficult for me to rejoice in the fruit of his ministry. Envy crept into my heart and my obsession for what I did not have kept me from receiving any of the blessings God desired to give me.

Envy always has a negative impact. James says in 3:26 says, "For where envy and selfish ambition exist, there will be disorder and every vile practice." There are those who try to give a positive spin on envy as a motivator for better performance. "If I am envious of what someone has then I will work harder to achieve my desire." But envy never motivates people to achieve more, rather holds people in bondage to their feelings of inadequacy. Instead of striving for their own sucess, those who are filled with envy rationalize why life is unfair or why the other person doesn't deserve it. 

Envy desires what someone else has and creates a hostile environment where others are an obstacle to their own success. In this kind of environment obsession blinds people from seeing their own weakness, that if remedied, could open doors for their success.

Love does not envy, the Aposlte Paul said, because envy is selfish and love selfless. Envy seeks exhalation as a replacement of some else's. It creates dissension because it is critical of the object of their envy and speaks disparagingly of them. Envy doesn't seek to imulate but rather seeks to usurp. Envy would rather destroy the success of others than to be content with their abilities and efforts.

Envy is not thankful for God's provision. An envious person allows biterness to color God's provision and instead of thankfulness, resentment fills his heart. Envious people don't see God's goodness but feels as if God is withholding something better. Envy sees God as an obstructionist to his happiness as he pours out happiness on others.

So how do we fight envy when it tempts to distract us from God's purpose for our lives.

1. Submit to the sovereign goodness of God. When we realize that God desires to pour out his goodness on us then we look for that goodness in the things he gives us.

2. Be thankful for the gifts God has given. Realize that the variety of gifts in the body means that your gift has a specific place in God's plan.

3. Realize that success is defined by God and not the world. We envy when we want more, because we have been told that more is better and bigger is greater. Follow Jesus and not the world.

4. Serve others. When we understand that God calls us to serve then we can put others needs before our own, even if it means they get the acalades.

5. Encourage others in their gifts and bless them with appreciation when they are faithful.

Envy is easy to fall prey to when your life takes a turn different then you expected. But when you seek to serve God, using your gifts wherever he leads you, then you can become content with His goodness  and the world becomes a wonderous place. I'm just saying...

Listen to me, LISTEN to me, LISTEN TO ME!

Listen to me. LISTEN to me. LISTEN TO ME!  There is nothing more frustrating when you are trying to get your children to do something and they tune you out. There are strategies that parents use to facilitate their selective hearing. 

"Turn off the TV and look at me"

"Take off the ear phones and listen to me"

"Look me in the eyes, do you understand what I am saying to you."

We know that listening, hearing, and understanding comes only when all of a child's senses are focused on the conversation. Listening and understanding is the basis for obedience.

The Apostle told the children of the Ephesian church that they were to do two things: obey and honor.

The word obey is from the same root word as submit used previously in regard to wives and husbands. The difference is that wives submit by willingly placing themselves under the influence of their husbands, while children listen with the intent to obey.

It takes us back to Proverbs where the writer instructs the reader to listen to wisdom, heed her words, follow her instruction and it will be well with you. In the same way children are to listen to the wisdom of their parents and to submit to their experience so that it will be well with them.

Children are by nature selfish creatures. Oh, they do cute things, they snuggle, they kiss, and they can smile to melt the heart of any parent. But leave the room and they will devise ways to get around any prohibition, been there/done that. Therefore, parents are constantly teaching their children to listen and obey using different techniques and strategies so that the child will grow up and be godly. It is the child's responsibility, then, to obey. Life is so much better when both parties participate willingly.

The second thing children are to do is to honor their parents. The word is an action word that means, to manifest consideration towards, to treat favorably, to visit with marks of favor. Children can't honor their parents and not show that honor with tangible action.

My children have told me that I should treat them well because they will be picking out my nursing home. It's all in fun, but for some the sentiment is true. Their children hold animosity in their hearts and can't wait to unload them.

Honor, however, choses to hold the parent in high regard whether they deserve it or not. The passage doesn't say that when parents act honorably then treat them with honor. Honor is an act of selfless love. 

Honor obeys

Honor listens

Honor speaks well 

Honor respects

Honor submits

Honor calls

Honor visits

When a child listens, obeys, and honors there is a promise, life will go well and they will live long in the land. This is an Old Testament promise to Israel. Culturally father's could kill disobedient children, obedience meant long life. But it also meant that God would preserve them in the land. Obedience meant following after their parents faith and obeying the law. These actions brought God's favor and he would allow them to stay in the land. Otherwise he would discipline them by sending them into captivity. 

Today, when there is harmony in the home, both children and parents are healthier, emotionally and physically. There is less worry and stress which leads to health issues. When children are obedient life goes smoother.

The word children applies to anyone of descent who still lives with their parents. So, whether you are four or forty if you are still living off your parents then you are to listen and obey.

I have three boys who honor me. They haven't always listened and obeyed, but the pattern of their lives exhibited the characteristics of obedience and honor. I have no greater joy then to know that they follow the Lord and have families of their own. I enjoy spending time with them and marvel at what God has done in their lives. 

 The only greater joy is to see them have children of their own. Well, because what goes around comes around. I'm just saying.

Ephesians 6:1,2 "Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. “Honor your father and mother” (this is the first commandment with a promise), “that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land.”

I Get No Respect

I was dismayed as I looked at the meaning of the Greek word for respect. It means to fear, be apprehensive, alarmed, and fearfully impressed. I thought, "is this the the attitude Paul expected of wives?" 

We must always look at context, because in it we find the contrast that husbands are to love. Fear is not the appropriate response to love. In fact Paul said elsewhere that perfect love casts out fear. So given the ideal that he presents in Ephesians for married couples how do we understand the word respect. 

There is another translation that fits the word, and it is to reverence or to hold in high regard. Wives are to submit to their husbands by holding them high regard. This isn't as easy as it sounds because men have the tendency to fail at meeting the expectations of their wives. You can hear wives say, "I love him but I just don't respect him." Paul doesn't admonish wives to love, but to submit and respect. Maybe it is because respect is the more difficult attitude of wives toward their husband. "I get no respect" should never be a husbands mantra. Let's get to it, what does respect look like.

 1. Don't insult him or make fun of him. As tough as men say they are their egos are fragile when it comes to their wives. They can take abuse from everyone, but it becomes personal when it is their wives.

2. Listen to him when he speaks. You might think that women are better listeners, but when it comes to hearing what their husbands are saying it is more of an art. Men don't share feelings to the same extent as women. Listening is hearing past the words to the intent. I always tell Rebecca to say what she means, but then I don't do it when she asks how I am feeling. 

3. Value his opinion. This is a tough one, especially if you believe your husband doesn't have very good ones. Valuing an opinion is different for men then women. Rebecca asks my opinion because she wants a variety of choices. But when I give give my opinion I expect it to be acted on. It frustrates me to no end when she asks my opinion and then does the exact opposite. If that is your decision making process, whatever he says do the opposite, I would suggest you change your strategy. 

4. Be considerate of his likes and dislikes. Most women are nurtures so this comes naturally. Rebecca is constantly considering what I like when it comes to food, movies, and vacations. The only downside to this is when I ask where she wants to go out to eat. I'll eat almost anywhere and because she constantly is thinking about what I like I want to be as sensitive. But when it becomes a fight as to who is the most gracious I feel my attempt at consideration is not respected. Remember my fragile ego.

5. Don't mock or ridicule him in public or in private. Husbands, as well as wives, should always feel protected, especially when they are not there to protect themselves. Men put their wives down in front of the guys as a joke, looking to build themselves up in front of the men. Women complain about their husbands failures looking for sympathy and support. Neither is a good way to respect the other.

Behind every great man is a women who has highly respected him. The general rule is that men will love their wives more deeply if they feel respected. It may be as simple as a taking his arm in public because you are proud to be by his side, or praising him in front of others for the one thing he finally did on your list (not mockingly).

I have to say that Rebecca respects me and makes me feel successful as a husband, as a father, and as a man. This is important because the world often tells me a different story. Thank you Rebecca, I'm just saying.

Ephesians 5:33 "let the wife see that she respects her husband."

1 Peter 3:1,2 "Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, when they see your respectful and pure conduct."

How Do I Love Thee? Let Me Count The Ways.

I love my wife. Do you know how she knows? Because I told her so at the wedding ceremony. We all know that is silly, and that everyone needs to hear that they are loved on a regular basis. 

Husbands, however, are given a specific command to love their wives because we have a tendency to think, "she ought to know." The command is given with a qualifier, "as ourselves." We take care of our needs daily and so should be our expression of love toward our wives. So what does it look like? Every woman is different and their need for love will be expressed indifferent ways. That is why as husbands we need to understand our wives. I know, a daunting task, but it is possible. As an example I will share how Rebecca feels loved, and how I need to express it.

1. Rebecca feels love when I protect her. This includes physical and emotional protection. Simple acts go a long way. She has commented that when we walk on the street and I take the position between her and oncoming traffic she feels protected. She is very capable of moving out of the way of an approaching car, but it says something to here when I am willing to chose her over myself.

Emotional protection is expressed when I don't allow others or myself to speak disparaging about her. We live in an overly comedic society and too often allow ourselves to cross the line in the name of humor. If my wife is not laughing it is not funny. Emotional protection also includes how I speak too, in kindness or disrespect. 

2. Rebecca feels loved when I speak words of encouragement to her. We all like to be encouraged and appreciated. This is often difficult for men who wonder why they have to say thank you for work you normally do. Rebecca will thank me for taking out the garbage, which I always think is strange. But she appreciates even the little things. What that tells me is that she wants to be appreciated as well. She doesn't expect it but I know it means a lot.

Encouraging words are extinguished by discouraging words. We can say a thousand nice ones and destroy them by one careless one. And the phrase, "just kidding" doesn't erase the pain.

3. Rebecca feels loved when I listen. I don't do this well because every conversation seems more interesting then the one I am in. That's why I have a hard time carrying on meaningful conversations in large groups, when the TV is on, or if I am doing something else. I need to listen to her so that I can hear her joy and her pain, and it isn't an issue of fixing things. This gets guys into trouble when wives share something and they go into fix it mode when all she wanted was a sounding board. I have asked Rebecca, "is this something you want me to fix?" It takes a lot of pressure off the conversation when I know the difference.

4. Rebecca feels loved when I help. We have different gifts and roles, but sometimes those gifts and roles overlap. I get so caught up in my own agenda that I overlook all the things she does at work and around the house. We have different ideas about what it means to be clean and orderly and my endurance of grime is much longer. I can't for the life me figure out why she has to spend so much time cleaning, but you know, I like it, and she likes it when I help without being asked, or if she does ask, that I don't complain. 

5. Rebecca feels loved when I honor her. This is different then encouraging words or acts of kindness. It is a frame of mine. Honoring her means to hold her up as valuable. She is important to me and what she says has meaning. She doesn't look for public adulation, she doesn't like it, but she does wan't to know that I hold her in high regard. She wants me to consider her opinion as valid and worth listening to. 

6. Rebecca feels loved when I fulfill my role as a godly husband and father. As the spiritual head of the home I am responsible for seeing that my wife and children are being fed, prayed for, and led with godly advice. Too often we abrogate this responsibility to our wives and then feel resentful when they "nag" us to do what God has tasked us with. 

There are many other ways the Rebecca feels loved, but you get the idea. Sharing this personal example is dangerous because I have to admit how much I have failed. To know and not do is the most unloving action possible. Yet, as inadequate as I am I am able because I have been redeemed, made new, and I am being perfected each day in Christ. it is still my obligation and desire to love my wife with my whole heart, and I do. I'm just saying.

Ephesians 5:33 "However, let each one of you love his wife as himself,"

A Mystery Worth Exploring

Sometimes I just shake my head. I don't understand why my wife would want to be married to me? I am not extremely handsome, intelligent, compassionate, or thoughtful. Yet, of all they guys she could have chosen, she chose me. 

I wonder this about most relationships between men and women. What is it that attracts them and holds them in this abstract thing we call love. I am with the writer of proverbs when he said,

"Three things are too wonderful for me;

four I do not understand (one of them is):

the way of a man with a virgin."

An evolutionist would say that we are attracted by our pheromones. We have a built in mechanism to perpetuate the species. There is definitely an unconscious drive between men and women but it isn't sufficient to cement the relationship in a life long bond. If it were merely procreation men would abandon women once impregnated. No, there is something deeper, richer, mysterious, more wonderful then we can imagine.

Social science studies it and physical science tries to explain it, but they will always come up short. Since Adam and Eve it has been a mystery (though they didn't have any other choice). 

It is a mystery that can only be understood in the exploration of it. Not in the lab but by experience. It is a mystery that finds fulfillment in its crucible and once endured as precious as a gem stone. 

Sin does get in the way, and that is why the Apostle Paul calls us to submit to one another in Christ. In Christ the marriage relationship is redeemed and the grand experiment allowed to progress, grow, and flourish.

Yet, all this mystery is but a picture of Jesus' relationship with the church. It is a relationship only understood in the exploration of it. The world shakes it's head at us, "why would people worship a man who died on a cross, commit their lives and resources to a God they can not see, and to people so different themselves?" In deed, why would we? Because Jesus is alive and he has made us His bride, as unreasonable as that may seem. It is a mystery.

Why do people get married? Many have experienced abusive families, they have seen failed relationships, the difficulty is obvious, so why? Because we hope that ours will be different. We hope that the ideal is achievable. We dream that stories do have happy endings. And you know what? They do, but it comes at a cost, submit to one another.

So it is with the church. Why would anyone give their lives to Jesus? Because they see the mystery of the bride of Christ, through all her flaws, and are drawn to the most exciting relationship ever offered. We follow Jesus because we are inexplicably drawn by his love. It's a mystery, and its exploration worth the journey. I'm just saying.

Ephesians 5:32 "This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church."

I Can't Believe I Am Stuck With You

There you go making my heart beat again

There you go making me feel like a kid

Won't you do it and do it one time?

There you go pulling me right back in.

And I know I'm never letting go

I'm stuck on you

Stuck like glue

You and me baby we're stuck like glue

Stuck like glue

You and me baby we're stuck like glue.

Ephesians 5:31 "Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh."

 If you haven't gotten the connection the Greek word translated "hold fast" means to glue together, to be stuck.

When two people stand before God and promise themselves to one another they are to superglue their relationship with the Spirit of God.  In a take it or leave it society, when relationships are as throw away as plastic bags, the people of God are to enter into marriage relationships with a higher calling. 

Let me back this up a little bit. My youngest son got married this past summer. It was a wonderful ceremony, a beautiful bride, and a dashing groom. A lot of effort went into making it the perfect ceremony. But after the euphoria was over, the honey moon behind them, the reality of life begins to set in. 

I called my son and told him that we were coming for a visit and bringing his stuff. "What?" He said. That's right, your married, an adult, and now you get all your stuff. Along with that your phone, car insurance, and yes, your stuff. When you get married there is a change in the parent/child relationship. He is to leave the protection, care, and provision of his parents and take them over with his wife.

That doesn't mean that parents throw their children to the wolves, but it does mean that their priorities change. Their focus is on their married relationship. This is difficult for some because mommy and daddy have always given them what they want, and when their spouse is unreasonable they go running home. 

Parents should listen, advise, and then send them "home" to work it out with their spouse. In this way they learn the tough lessons of love and submission. We do them no favors by hugging them and saying, "I know he/she is wrong and you are always right. Mommy will take care of this, why don't you stay here tonight." 

Couples become one as the glue hardens through pressure. When ever I glue something together I am often in too much of a hurry and take the pressure off the objects being glued. When I do that they eventually fall apart. Hardship and pressure solidify the bonding compounds. When couples submit themselves to the glue of the Holy Spirit and allow him to use the pressures of life as an adhesive, the bond will last much longer. If we give up too soon we miss out on the wonders of a fruitful marriage. 

Leaving and cleaving is not an issue of proximity. Setting appropriate boundaries helps young couples establish themselves as a family unit. As a parent there is joy and sadness as you watch your children marry. The joy is accepting a new member into the family, seeing them grow together, and producing (in their time) grandchildren. There is also sadness. As they build their own traditions they sometimes don't include yours. Holidays are shared. Distance can breed loneliness. Letting go can be just as hard as leaving. 

Rebecca and I are stuck like glue. We weather the joy and sadness of grown children as another pressure that binds us closer. We give our children the freedom to establish their own lives without pressure and guilt from us. We want their glue to set so that they will find the joy and happiness that comes from a long and fruitful marriage. 

Unity within the family, as well as the church, comes when we leave behind the things of childhood and embrace the responsibilities of adulthood. The church, like marriage, is bonded together through the crucibles of life and as we love and submit we will find ourselves stuck like glue, baby, stuck like glue. I'm just saying...

Letting Go Of The Remote

I remember well the day we wed

I can see that picture in my head

I still believe the words we said

Forever will ring true

Love is certain, Love is kind

Love is yours and love is mine

But it isn't something that we find

It's something that we do

Clint Black

As gruff and independent as men like to make themselves out to be, when it comes to women we want to believe we can romance them and win them with our charm. We give flowers and pickup lines, we have swagger and fancy dinners, but often what we consider love is as empty as a forgotten promise. We don't fall in love or have love. Love is something that we do.

In maintaining the high call of unity in the Church, the Aposltle Paul illustrates what kind of interaction we are to have by how husbands and wives submit to one another. Wives are to voluntarily place themselves under the influence of their husbands in everything, and Men are to love their wives.

On the surface it sounds like husbands have it much easier, but that is not the case. It is possible for the wife to submit without love, but the husband cannot love without submitting his wellbeing to the wellbeing of his wife.

When a husband loves his wife like Christ loved the church he sacrifices for her benefit. That doesn't mean that he gives in to her every demand, but when he acts it is always with her mind. Also, husbands are to love their wives like their own bodies.

I have some friends who are body builders and they work out endlessly to sculpt their muscles. That takes a lot of discipline to eat right, to work through the pain, and to chose a routine that requires strength and focus. Apply that to your wife. We are to love her by providing for her physical needs, work through the pain that comes through living together, and choosing activities that bring you together and build you up.

Love isn't about compromise, it is about sacrifice. It's little things like letting go of the remote, and big things like letting go of "your rights".

Husbands we know how to love because God us given us an example in Christ. He gave his life for a sinful bride. He didn't wait until she was perfect to love her, he allowed his love to perfect her. He gave the church the bread of life (the word) to nourish and sustain her. He gave the Holy Spirit to fill her and be with her always. 

In like manner we are to take a bullet for our wives, protect their dignity, encourage them, build them up in front of others, and serve them. We are to provide for their physical and emotional needs. And we are to be there for them in mind and body. 

Gentlemen, what wife wouldn't want to submit to a man like that? It is the ideal and we will fail, but it is our responsibility in Christ to love our wives like Christ loved the Church. Now, go and ask your wife how she is feeling. I'm just saying..

Ephesians 5:25-30 "Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church...In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies."

A Wife's Most Difficult Way

The individualism of American culture is a picture of hard work, self-determination, and success. It fosters an attitude of, "I don't need anyone" so much so that good conservatives bristle at the thought of "it takes a village" (Hillary Clinton) and "you didn't build that" (Barak Obama). And, at the risk of alienating my conservative friends, I agree, none of us achieves anything in a vacuum, and for Christians, the community of faith is to be the central aspect of our lives.

The Apostle Paul was teaching the Ephesians about the high call of unity, and that working together in love was the way in which the world sees God's hands and feet in action. The ultimate expression of that unity is when we come to the point of trusting one another by submitting ourselves for the well being of another person. But how does that work out in practice? 

It would have been laborious to write every situation in which believers should mutually submit, so the Apostle describes four venues that were and are core relationships in the church that identify the most difficult acts of submission: Wife to Husband, Husband to wife, Child to parent, and slave to master (we will view this as employee to employer). Today we will take the first, wife to husband.

The word submit after "wives" isn't in the original Greek. It is placed there for clarification linking it to the verse before. "Submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ. Wives to your husbands." The word submit was a military term meaning to voluntarily place yourself under the influence of someone else, to obey, or submit.

I can hear the screams, "Submit? That's archaic! What if my husband is lazy, indifferent, mean, irresponsible, or worse abusive." Not to sound insensitive but if that is what your husband is like you have bigger issues then submission. The fact remains that the Apostle says that the wife, in order to maintain unity, is to do that which the fall has made most difficult, submit to her husband in everything. 

One of the consequences of the fall was that the wife would desire to be over her husband and usurp his role. In Christ wives are redeemed and part of that redemption is the reestablishment of created roles, and places the husband as head of the house. Irrespective of his ability to fulfill his role properly the wife is to show reverence for Christ in her behavior.

The marriage relationship is s microcosm of the Church. How the family functions shows the world how the church functions. Therefore as Christ is head of the church so he has placed the husband as the head of the home. Frankly women, I would rather not have the responsibility.

When my wife and I stand before the Lord he will not ask her why my family did or did not follow after him. As head of the home the husband will have to answer for the family and that should be enough to cause us to tremble. 

But we live in a fallen world, husbands don't always take up their role gladly, so what is a wife to do? Submit, and it may be the most difficult thing they ever have to do, but God' grace is sufficient. If your husband is not a believer then by your gentle and submissive life the love of God is manifested. If he is a believer he will respond better through respect and not nagging, submissiveness and not dominance.

However, If your husband is abusive, physically or emotionally you need to protect you and your children. Remove yourself from the situation and seek help. This is the one caveat. In all else submit.

Submission doesn't mean that you don't have input or that you don't have any responsibility. It just means that at the end of the day the final decision rests on the husband. For some wives this is frightful because their husbands have not shown themselves trustworthy, for others it is a relief because it unburdens them.

This isn't complicated but it is difficult, but God gives strength to those who trust in Him. When wives see their act of submission to their husbands as an act of obedience to Christ it shows a rampantly irreligious culture a new and better way. Remember women that the next blog will be about the most difficult way for a husband to mutually submit. I'm just saying.

Ephesians 5:22-24 "Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands."

Why Christians Should NOT Vote

The government, the Apostle Paul said, is God's servant for good. When we subject ourselves to the laws of the government we are obedient to God and the opposit is true as well. Paul was writing to the Roman Church whose governing authority was harsh and repressive to believers, and yet he identifies that government as the instrument of God's goodness. Any ultimate wrath is to be left to God, and submission was to characterise the church. We trust government because we trust God.

The American founding fathers did not trust government. They believed it to be intrinsically bent toward corruption and needed checks and balances to keep its power under control. In writing a constitution that places the responsibility of the government in the hands of the govern, our founders placed the church in a difficult position. In Paul's day it was simple, the government made laws and the church obeyed. They had no recourse, no voice, no other option, and when the law conflicted with Christian teaching they submitted to the harsh consequence of conscience. 

Today, however, the Church (as individuals) does have a voice and with it a responsibility. The difficulty is a system designed to protect the rights of the few from the power of the many, and yet maintain the voice of the majority, and vise versa. When America was young it was simpler because there was a consensus concerning spiritual and moral belief. And though one can argue whether the founders were Christian, humanists, or digests the reality is that they either had faith in or gave consent to the tenants of the Chrisitan faith. The Christian participated in government with an understanding that government didn't conflict with the fundamental doctrines of its faith, and in fact encouraged and supported it.

That is not true today. At every turn there is moral erosion, rejection of biblical symbols, and persecution of religious faith. The Church is no longer seen as the center of community and cultural life, but has been replaced by education centers and government handouts. The Church is mocked for moral restraint and conviction, and its community charity ignored. If a Christian runs for public office he/she is castigated as a moralistic hater and intolerant. The landscape of America has changed drastically over the past 238 years and we are called to be subject to it. 

The difference between Paul's day and ours is that we have a voice. We might not be able to stop the tide of immorality that a cultural of tolerance has allowed, but we have a voice to slow it down. We are still called to be salt and light, beacons of hope in a dark world. We have a voice that doesn't stop at the pulpit or the polls. It is a witness born in every day life, seen by the world, shouted from the house tops, and empowere by the Spirit. We have a voice.

So, Christians shouldn't vote if:

1. They want to be disobedient to God. If obedience to government is being active participants then our vote is a righteous act.

2. They don't want to stem the tide of moral decay. Not every opportunity to vote centers around moral issues, but the people we vote for hold moral positions. Know if they line up with godly perspectives.

3. They don't care if the government continues its over reach of power. We the people are the government. This is often forgotten in the halls of power. If we do nothing then we deserve what we get.

4. They have no charity for their neighbor. Government (us) has a responsibility to the poor, the widow, and the orphan. It use to be the purview of the Church, but is now in the hands of the government, us. If we want to be responsible with the money that is used in our name then we need to vote for people who hold to our values.

There has never been nor will be a government that is perfect, until Jesus returns. Until then we have a responsibity and a previeldge that the Apostle Paul and other disciples never had, to be mover and shakers in our government. Thank you to all the Christians who have chosen to enter the political arena. May the Chruch vote for politicians who will uphold the righteousness of God. Now go vote! I'm just saying..

How The "S" Word Can Save The Church

How do we discern the will of God? First we allow his Spirit to be the controlling agent in our lives. Second, we look at every situation through the lens of God's blessings, giving thanks in all things in Christ. Thirdly, we we confess to one another intellectually and emotionally the things we believe. Finally, we submit to one another. Whoa, what was that last one!?

How does submitting to one another help discern the will of God, and why in the world would I put my trust in other people?

In the context of Ephesians high call to unity submitting to another is fundamental, but it goes deeper then unity. Submitting to one another goes to the core of our faith and the nature of God. God is three in one, the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit. Though they have different roles and responsibilities they are equal in every way. Yet, Jesus submits to the Father's will, and the Spirit submits to Jesus' reception of glory. They do not seek glory for themselves though each deserves infinite honor and praise.

Philippians says it best when we are told that Jesus did not see his position something to be grasped, but gave it up to become a man and die for our sins. When we submit to one another we are reflecting the very image of God in us.

Submission can also be an expression of love. Not only does Jesus demonstrate it by becoming a man, he demonstrated it at the last supper, and he demonstrated it daily as he obeyed both religious and civil laws. We are now called to love one another. It is  our love for one another that demonstrates our discipleship. The world knows we are followers of Jesus when we love one another. It's not our church attendance, it's not our bible memory, it's not our theological purity or ecclesiastical affiliation. As important as those might be it is our love, compassion, and submission to one another that is most important. 

What does submission entail? It is voluntary. The passage this morning doesn't say submit one another (my power over you), but submit to (my power to allow). For the sake of love and unity I submit my opinions, my desires, my aspirations for the other persons best. As Jesus told Pilate "you have no authority over me but that which the Father has given." He submitted himself into Pilate's hands because he knew the outcome would be salvation for the world; our best.

Submission considers other people's needs as important as our own. Community living doesn't elevate and prioritize need by wealth, social status, beauty, or power. I don't get to go to the front of the line because I posses these things, rather I submit what I believe to be my right so that you are elevated and your needs are met first. 

Our submission to one another is out of love and reverence for Christ. This is the most crucial element because it is our motivation. Submitting to another sinner is difficult because we don't trust them. What if they abuse the position I give them? What if they don't submit back? What if I find myself in a worse place? All valid  questions. The Passage says, Jesus. Our trust is that He knows what he is talking about and will turn all things to our good and for his glory. 

When it comes to the high call of unity we are asked to make sacrifices. Not blind sacrifices but difficult sacrifices. In a culture that values power and position over unity the church stands out. What if our government practiced this? What if our schools practiced this? What if our neighborhoods? What if our families practiced this? The world would be completely changed forever. It can only happen if we first submit to Jesus. I'm just saying..

Ephesians 5:21 "submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ."

What's The Holiday After Halloween?

We are a bombarded daily by selfish indulgent behavior. Children grow up in a culture of entitlement and handouts. The old proverb that says beggars can't be choosy has never met a trick or treater on Halloween. 

It is a challenge to teach your children to be grateful when they watch their parents complain because they didn't get what they paid for and the service was lousy. Americans have become so comfortable with their US lifestyle those who have grown up in other culture can be heard to say "ah, first world problems." I mean it is tuff when my internet isn't as fast as I want it or I can't get cell coverage in every nook and cranny of the country. Even the guy in the commercial can talk to google in the Grand Canyon. 

Gratitude is a lost characteristic. We revel in Halloween and can't wait for Christmas. In between Thanksgiving is just a long weekend of overeating. Why is gratitude such a hard characteristic to cultivate? 

First, pain blinds us to the kindness of God. Pain reveals the emptiness of our soul. When everything is going well the emptiness is filled with people, things, and activity. But when we experience pain the curtain is pulled back and the emptiness can be seen. If the pain is small we get agitated and complain. If the pain is insurmountable we experience doubt and hopelessness.  

Secondly, we fight the human tendency of  expectations. Why should I say thank you for something you are suppose to do? Why should I should I say thank you for something I didn't ask you to do? Why should I say thank you for your kindness and rob you of your eternal reward? 

Thirdly, gratitude acknowledges community  dependency. Gratitude is always given in the context of others doing a kindness for someone else. If you a loner you don't like expressing gratitude because you would rather people just leave you alone. Being grateful means you have to put up with other people.

The Apostle Paul tells the Ephesians to be thankful always and in everything. The context is living in unity with one another. They were to overlook the cult of self satisfaction and be grateful in every situation. They were to find where God was working and acknowledge his hand in the details. They were to express the positive in others and their contributions to the community. They were to thank God for even the most irritating individual they knew. 

Having a heart of gratitude is a barometer of our spiritual condition. The more grateful we are the closer we are to Christ. If someone tells me they have a good relationship with God and yet are ungrateful for their blessings they are deceived. Cultivating a heart of gratitude causes us to continually seek God, because life throws circumstances at us that are difficult to be thankful for. During those times we submit to Christ, seek godly wisdom, and express gratitude for the blessings we do have, big and small. When we do that our hearts are more at peace, we cultivate unity in the body, and each day is worth experiencing.

Don't let your circumstance blind you to the kindness of God. Shake off the troubles of this world for just a moment and allow God's grace to consume you. That is something to be thankful for. I'm just saying.   

Ephesians 5:20, "giving thanks always and for everything in the of the name of the Lord Jesus Christ." 

Remembering Holloween

It is right around the corner, literally. Rebecca and I were on our evening walk and we observed all of the houses that were decorated for Holloween. There are witches and ghosts, ghouls and goblins, spider webs and grave sights. At one house a couple was outside trying to figure a way to drop a ghost out of a tree an comand. The neighborhood is getting into the holiday spirit. 

On all hollows eve children will be canvassing the neighborhood in search of treats, begging strangers for candy, in celebration of, and that's the question. What are we celebrating. If decorations are indicators then we are celebrating death, the occult, and fear. If the gifts are an indicator then we are celebrating over indulgence of empty calories. If the cotumes are an indicator then we are totally confused from the cute and adorable to the strange and bizzar. 

I could go into the history of Holloween but for most that has nothing to with the day and they couldn't tell you if you asked. For Christians, it is important that we remember Holloween, not celebrate it, but acknowledge the reality it brings to the forefront. The Psalmist identifies the feelings that Holloween promotes.

Psalm 55:4,5 "My heart is in anguish within me; the terrors of death have fallen upon me. Fear and trembling come upon me, and horror overwhelms me."

Anguish, terror, fear, trembling, and horror are feelings that our culture glorifies on the day of Holloween. They are the result of evil and dread. They are feelings that sin plants into our soul and the evil one waters and nurtures. 

"For you did not receive the spirit of slavery to fall back into fear" the Apostle said in Romans. Sin breeds fear of judgment, but the fear of the Lord receives grace and mercy. Sin produces destruction, God's love produces salvation. Sin separates and isolates, God's mercy draws us close and provides community. Holloween is the out growth of sin because it's roots are in fear and death. That is why we must remember Holloween.

Holloween reminds of us of the devastation of sin and how the world glories in it. The evil one has us laugh at the cute goblins asking for candy, but in the dark and quiet of their homes the evil lurking in the darkness is not funny.

EIGHT WEEKS! That's right, in eight weeks another celebration occurs that comes as a result of all that Holloween stands for, 

John 1, "The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it...And the Word became flesh and dwelt among us, and we have seen his glory, glory as of the only Son from the Father, full of grace and truth."

Christmas is the celebration of the light piercing the darkness. If it were not for Halloween Christmas wouldn't have been necessary. The dark decorations transform into the bright and joyous light of the saviors birth. As abhorrent as evil is the love of God breaks through and rescues us from it consequences. 

So, this Hallowen I will be looking ahead, through the darkness, to the glorious light that has broken through. It makes the celebration all the more joyous. I'm just saying. 

Music Is Powerful

Music is powerful. It is used to set the mood for movies, express happiness, and commiserate with us when we are depressed. It can repulse us and excite us in just a matter of seconds. One psychologist puts it this way,

"Losing yourself in the right music is an immediate, unconscious and effortless way to reframe your situation. You can swiftly defeat the black and white thinking that’s leading you to catastrophize the magnitude of this break-up or other trauma (Mark Sichel, http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-therapist-is-in/200807/music-soothes-the-soul)."

In the church music is used in the same way, it sets the mood for what is coming, it is played during prayers, it used to bring us in and to send us on our way. Music has also been the cause of dissension. Some have seen drums and guitars as instruments of the devil, rock and roll was an evil to be cast out, and who would have ever thought that rap would be considered music, let alone performed in a church. People have fought and divided churches over these things. Music is powerful.

At our church we have three services, all defined by the music. The announcements are the same, the message is the same, and the environment is the same, but we segregate the congregation by their musical taste. The first service is traditional where the music is rooted in the old hymns of the faith. The second service is aimed at the baby boomers and has a 90's feel. The third service is called the contemporary service. It is always in flux because contemporary is relative, but generally the songs and style are new and often changing.

Why does the church care so much abut music? Isn't the message the most important? Music touches our soul in ways that the written and spoken word can't. Even the most stoic person in church can be seen tapping his toe with the right song. Music expresses our emotions where preaching touches our intellect. Add words to a moving melody and our hearts can be lifted to the gates of heaven. 

Singing was also a teaching method to convey theological content in a way that was memorable. Singing to one another was a way to identify one's belief and confess it together. Singing, when done thoughtfully, unites people by reminding them of their common relationship in Christ. When we are confessing through song our common faith and devotion it is difficult to be scheming against one another. When we hold hands and sing "these are the ties that bind" it is hard to hold animosity in our hearts.

For some singing is the part of the service they endure before the preaching, for others it is part of the service that makes the preaching worthwhile. Which ever it is we are commanded to address or speak to each other in psalms, hymns, spiritual songs, singing, and making melody. I find it interesting that Paul says the audience of our music is one another, though the content is about our Lord. When we address one another we are confessing our unity in Christ, and we do it with the most emotional means possible. Music is powerful.

This week when you go to church and the music begins, think about the words and what your voice is telling the person next to you. Do you really believe what you are confessing? Is the room full of people united at that moment around greatness of our God? Music is powerful, I'm just saying...

Ephesians 5:19 "addressing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody to the Lord with your heart,"

Drunk For Jesus

When I began following Jesus in 1975 I had a clear understanding of what God wanted for my life; to teach others the answers to the questions that challenged my faith as a new believer. It wasn't a bolt of lightening or a dream, but rather a realization of what was necessary. In church parlance I was called to the ministry. 

Evil has a way of distorting, discouraging, and derailing what once seemed clear. Backbiting, resentment, jealousy, judgement, self righteousness, and pride eat away at the unity of the church and at the resolve of the pastor. It takes a great amount of faith to weather the evil and persevere through the storm. For this reason Paul admonished the Ephesian believers to make the best use of their time. They were to set aside foolishness and peer through the vail to understand the will of the Lord.

Yet, understanding God's will isn't difficult, though we like to make it mysterious. What God has given us to know has been made clear through the written and living word of God. We have been given commands that are non negotiable and principles that give us guidelines. "Thou shalt not" is clear, and "whatever you determine in your heart" is freeing. For nonconformists "thou shalt nots" are restricting and for rule followers principles are infuriating. God does have a sense of humor.

What neither law nor principle does is tell me the details of my life, who to marry, what college to go to, what career should I follow, or what church to attend. It's not that those decisions aren't important but the bible would be too big if God's specific will for each person was written. So, he gives us law and principle. The who I should marry is up to me as long as she fits into the law and principle. She should be a believer, pure, honest, charitable, and loving. She should not be idle or gossip, and she should be concerned for others. The same applies to seeking husbands. With these categories established I am free to chose between all available and willingly interested parties. That is freeing.

I don't have to fret over which college to attend or job to take if they fall within the parameters of God's revealed will. I have told my children that success in life is determined by only two things: do I love the Lord with all my heart, soul, and mind; and do I provide for my family. If I do these two things I am successfully within the will of God.

The Apostle Paul addresses these in the following chapters but gives a summary in contrast in today's passage.

Understand the will of God:

     Don't get drunk.             Be filled with the Spirit

                                                 Worship together through song 

                                                 Give thanks to God in Christ for everything.

                                                 Submit to one another out of reverence for Jesus.

Evil is constantly trying to derail the high call of unity in the church and in the home. It is only when we understand that his will for our lives is simple and easily discerned that we are able to break through the darkness and walk in the light. Don't allow the world to consume you, but be consumed by the Spirit of God, and it will be reflected in your worship, your gratitude, and your love for one another. 

God's call on my life hasn't changed, only the venue. I strive to understand and pass it on, if only to one other person. I know that God has called us together as a body of believers despite our deficiencies. I have a dysfunctional love affair with the church because she is the bride of Christ and it is God's will for her to live out the high call of unity. The days are evil, be consumed by the Spirit. I'm just saying...

Ephesians 5:17-21 "Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the will of the Lord is. And do not get drunk with wine, for that is debauchery, but be filled with the Spirit, addressing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody to the Lord with your heart, giving thanks always and for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ."

Just Another Day Of Evil

Every morning my body has to adjust to a new day. The older I get the more I am reminded of how short life really is. When you are young the world is full of promise and the idealism of youth is energetic and hopeful. Aging has a way of tempering optimism. My wife visited her mother this past week and at 94 she seldom remembers Rebecca's name let alone how to read the bible that lays in her lap. Her youth is spent and she waits for the Lord to call her home.

It reminds me of a proverb I saw on a doctor's wall, "aging is God's way of weaning us from this life."  Age has a way of forging wisdom if we will let it. Life experiences, added one by one, help us to see the world the way it really is, and gives us a perspective from which to make the most of it. 

The days are evil, the Apostle Paul said. It was true then and it is true now, evil runs rampant and if we are not careful we will be swept away in its wake. But evil doesn't dictate who we are or how we are to live. Evil doesn't choose our state of mind or the attitude by which we meet each day. Evil is the enemy that would rob us of joy, shackle us to bitterness, and enslave us to its desires. Evil would have us seek retribution instead of reconciliation, mayhem instead of mercy, petulance instead of peace, fanaticism instead of forgiveness, and glory instead of grace. Evil lures us as an angle of light and devours as a prowling lion. It justifies itself as good and destroys the fabric of God's good will for our lives. The days are evil.

It is easy to focus on the big evils of our day and miss the little ones that have led up to them. Wars, persecutions, plagues, and rampant immortality mark the headlines, but they are the end result of anger, bitterness, lust, and greed. The days are evil, not out there, but in our neighborhoods, in our homes, and in our hearts. If we are not careful with the little ones the big ones will ultimately consume us. The days are evil.

If the days are evil then it is prudent to measure each day and use the time we have with care and wisdom. This isn't a call to conform every minute of our day to religious stuff. I am not saying you need to be involved in three bible studies, two service projects, and running around passing out tracts. Doing more stuff, no matter how good, isn't what Paul is talking about when he says we need to make the best use of our time. We are to use our time in wise ways, prudent ways, and godly ways. It is about loving God with our whole heart and loving others. It is about ordering our lives so that we reflect God's priorities. It is about seeing through the foolishness of this life and capturing the moment for God.

Nature abhors a vacuum and if we do not fill our time with godly things then evil is ready to fill it. With modern technology we are more connected and less intimate then ever before. Every emotional and spiritual craving can be titillated on the Internet but never satisfied. Texting, tweeting, and messaging allows us to communicate, but stifles conversation. Unplugging isn't the answer either. Evil always finds a way to distract us from what is important. Wisdom is needed.

Aging isn't such a bad thing. I don't like the new aches and pains, but I like the perspective it gives me. I no longer run frantically trying to force the will of God on others, but rather, with patience, allow his will to flow through me. It isn't easy navigating the course of this life and sometimes I would rather Jesus come back, but there is still more to be done in my life, in my little corner of the world. I will endeavor to use wisdom, making the best use of my time because the days are evil. I'm just saying...

Ephesians 5:15,16  "Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise, making the best use of the time, because the days are evil."

Monsters Under The Bed

"There are monsters under the bed, dad." He couldn't fall asleep. In the darkness every sound, every shadow, ever bump filled his imagination with the horrors his little mind could conjure. "There are monsters under the bed."

I assured him that he was only imagining them and that there were no monsters, but he wasn't convinced. I prayed with him and we asked God to fill his mind with good thoughts and to calm his heart. I tucked him tightly beneath his covers, kissed him on the head and told him he would be fine. As I started to get up he said, "daddy, there are monsters under the bed."

"There are no monsters and I will prove it. I turned on the light and got him out of bed. We shine a flashlight under the bed and in the closet. we looked behind the door and the dresser. "See," I said. "There are no monsters." He seemed to calm down and again I tucked him in hoping he would be able to fall asleep. "There, do you feel better?" I asked.

He nodded, gave me a hug and said, "can I keep the flashlight. Monsters don't like the light." 

We once lived in darkness, sold into sin, deserving of God's wrath, and lost without hope. But someone shared the gospel and the light of God's truth shined in our lives and we were convinced and transformed. The light revealed the monsters within and chased the darkness away.

If we are to submit to the high call of unity we have to live as children of the light and allow the light to peer into the crevices of our darkness and redeem it for the glory of God. Wherever the light touches the darkness disappears. Wherever the truth is spoken falsehood is made clear. Where hatred and discontent has marred relationships the love God reconciles.

The world is watching us to see if our lives are different. They are not looking to see if we obey rules, or conform to religious expectations. They want to know if we truly love one another and if that love spills out towards them. They will be uncomfortable when truth is spoken, but will their angst be tempered with love. Darkness fears wrath, but the light of God's love in Christ not only exposes the darkness, but convinces those in darkness of the joy of redemption. 

When the light exposes and convinces those in darkness of their sin, their need of a savior is made visible, and what is visible is light. 

Each of us has monsters that keep us awake at night. Expose them to the light and allow God's grace to free you from the bondage of fear. Awake, O sleeper, and arise from the dead, and Christ will shine on you. I'm just saying.

Ephesians 5:13, 14 But when anything is exposed by the light, it becomes visible, for anything that becomes visible is light. Therefore it says, "Awake, O sleeper, and arise from the dead, and Christ will shine on you." 

Celebrating Halloween

The ghouls and ghosts, the witches and monsters, are beginning parade through our neighborhood. While walking the dog I see people decorating their houses in celebration of the darkest day of the year, Halloween. 

Over the years I have been conflicted during this season, innocent fun or glorifying evil. As parents we have both dressed our children up and avoided it altogether. Mostly we have chosen other activities during the trick or treat time. Though many Christians participate in the festivities it seems inconsistent to the Christian message.

But Halloween is a clever distraction from the real darkness Paul is talking about in Ephesians. While we rail against the trappings of the occult we have allowed to seep into our lives those things that bring about the wrath of God. 

Impurity, immorality, selfishness, covetousness, idolatry, adultery, greed, hatred, jealousy, drunkenness, course joking, gluttony, injustice, backbiting, divisiveness, contention, and pride. These, and more, have brought about the wrath of God and exhibit the depth in which man has strayed into the darkness.

We are to walk in light and bear its fruit. Our lives are to reflect the image of God's mercy and grace not the debauchery of the flesh. We are to stand against the darkness and expose it. There is a cost because the world recoils at the righteousness of God. Yet, we are to stand against and expose it most adamantly within the church. Wherever darkness overshadows the work of God we are to bring it to light.

When Paul says it is shameful to even speak of these things he isn't referring to reasonable discourse. He is talking about the hush tones where the ideas of darkness fester and propagate its lies. They are conversations that lead to agreement in word and deed.

There is passive and active involvement. Active involvement is easy to spot, and most of the time easy to avoid. Passive involvement says nothing and does nothing. It hopes it won't affect them and seeks to minimize conflict, and in doing so gives tacit approval of darkness.

This Halloween we will refrain from the celebration of fear and darkness, leave our house during trick or treat, and avoid the onslaught of ghouls and goblins. It will be a good time to reflect on the darkness that I have allowed in my life and ask God to expose it for what it is, and then leave its shame at the cross and walk in the light. I'm just saying...

Ephesians 5:11-13 "Take no part in the unfruitful works of darkness, but instead expose them. For it is shameful even to speak of the things that they do in secret. For it is shameful even to speak of the things that they do in secret."

Islamic Peace and Christian Hate?

Two political commentators were speaking about the Middle East crisis of ISIS. They were making the distinction between Islam and Christianity and that the former was a religion of peace and the latter responsible for all kinds of atrocities: homophobia, slavery, white supremacy, abortion  clinic bombings, and the suppression of women's rights. They obviously haven't been exposed to Islamic cultures.

A young Muslim friend of mine posted yesterday on Facebook "Islam is perfect, People aren't." It is an attempt to distance what is happening with ISIS from her faith. She is a sweet young college student from the Filipines and it is understandable for her to ignore all the violence from conservative Muslims in her own country and around the world. It is difficult to see the horror that is done in the name of your god when you couldn't imagine doing it yourself.

As Christians we are constantly apologizing for such acts throughout history that have been done in the name of Christ. We know that violence isn't the method by which we have been called to spread the Kingdom of God. We realize that those who perpetrate hate, bigotry, and discrimination have forgotten our duty to love all people as children of God. We understand that the world is constantly looking for reasons to hate us and we at time overcompensate so they won't. It is also true that the church has done far more to alleviate the suffering of the world then it has to harm it.

The world doesn't need any other reason to hate us than the gospel, and when we live the gospel we will be hated all the more. Our responsibility isn't to apologize or placate the world. Our responsibility is to walk as children of the light. The church isn't called to force people to submission to outward morality, but rather to bear fruit keeping with righteousness. Jesus said they (the world) will know us by our fruit as we love one another.

As we walk in light we will exhibit what is good, right, and true. It won't be popular. We will look old fashion. The church will be chided as being irrelevant and unprogressive. We will be ostracized, sued, laughed at, and scorned, just because we choose to live lives consistent with the light. As we choose to walk the path set out before us in Christ we will be able to discern what is pleasing to the Lord.

My neighbor, Redneck Rick, has a very skewed understanding of the bible. He is an ardent believer in the book of Revelation, though I am not sure he has ever read it. The Middle East and Ebola are examples of the end times, and if we don't believe it we are going to be really "F*** up". He doesn't go to church and doesn't believe you have to to be a 

Christian. In fact, he said, you can be a Christian and use the F word.

It is tempting to see his slightly inebriated state, his foul language, and his skewed view of moral living as the problem. If I can just clean him up then he would be pleasing to God. But that is the difference between Islam and Christianity. Islam forces people to be good in order for God to accept them. Christianity knows that the heart needs to change and that it can only happen through the working of the gospel. The first looks good, everyone running around doing the right things, but unless the heart is changed outward conformity will eventually degenerate into immorality.

We are to walk as children of light not to become children of light. We are to live out the inward reality of the Holy Spirit's work, and as children of light, constantly look for ways to please the Lord, and what pleases Him?  

Duet. 10:18, "For the LORD your God is God of gods and Lord of lords, the great, the mighty, and the awesome God, who is not partial and takes no bribe. He executes justice for the fatherless and the widow, and loves the sojourner, giving him food and clothing."

We know that we are pleasing to God when we find ways to love others, do good to those who persecute us, and offer hope to those who hate us. How are you walking today? I'm just saying...

Ephesians 5:8b-10  "Walk as children of light (for the fruit of light is found in all that is good and right and true), and try to discern what is pleasing to the Lord."

He Saved Me From Drowning

From the time I was little until now they have been an integral part of my life. They have kept me from drowning, they have danced with me, sang with me, and even yelled at me. I have chosen them or have been chosen by them, they have kept me on the right path and at times led me astray. I have been enriched by knowing them and saddened at where they ended. I am talking about partners.

From swimming partners at camp to my marriage partner I have experienced the joys and frustrations that come with trying to work together with another person. Sometimes partnerships are with one person other times they are with groups, but whatever the number they have common characteristics.

One writer describes a healthy relational partnership as being mature, honest, respectful, empathetic, affectionate, and humorous. The bottom line about any partnership are three things: 1. You agree on the goal, 2. You have common beliefs, and 3. You have each other's back. It is important that we pick our partners carefully. Often we enter a partnership with different goals or beliefs and the outcome is always disastrous.

I had a simple partnership one day. Our common goal was to change the theatre stage light bulbs. Our common belief was that the best way to achieve it was to use an extended "A" frame ladder, and of course, the trust of the climber that the holder would not let go. I was the one who climbed the twenty five feet in the air to reach and change the light bulbs. All was well until a young lady strolled across the stage and engaged my partner in a conversation distracting him from our partnership. He no longer had my back, and when the ladder began rolling toward the edge of the stage I was quick to remind him of his obligation. All turned out well, but my trust in this partner was shaken.

Partners in marriage, partners in money, and partners in life are important to chose wisely. The Apostle Paul had just talked about the children of disobedience. Their behavior was bringing about the wrath of God. He wanted the Ephesians to chose carefully and warned them not to partner with them. It is easy to succumb to the belief that you can work with someone with differing goals and beliefs and remain unstained by their corrupt behavior. The bible says that a little leaven leavens the whole batch, and it doesn't take much dirt to ruin clean water. 

We are told not be unequally yoked and the passage isn't referring to only marriage. What does light have to do with darkness, want does sin have to do with righteousness, and what does God have to do with demons? The answer is nothing. Then why do we partner with them? 

This doesn't mean we shouldn't have non believing friends. If we didn't who would share the gospel with them, but it does mean that our close relationships should be with people who are of like mind and faith.

The Apostle was extolling the Ephesians to maintain the high call of unity, but it doesn't happen in an environment of conflicting beliefs and goals. With our foundation built solidly on the gospel of Christ, the teachings of the Apostles and prophets, and the filling of the Holy Spirit we can partner together to, not only maintain unity, but build the kingdom of God. 

Who have you partnered with today? I'm just saying...

Ephesians 5:7,8 "Therefore do not become partners with them; for at one time you were darkness, but now you are light in the Lord."