Friday, November 7, 2014

I Can't Believe I Am Stuck With You

There you go making my heart beat again
There you go making me feel like a kid
Won't you do it and do it one time?
There you go pulling me right back in.
And I know I'm never letting go

I'm stuck on you
Stuck like glue
You and me baby we're stuck like glue
Stuck like glue
You and me baby we're stuck like glue.

Ephesians 5:31 "Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh."

 If you haven't gotten the connection the Greek word translated "hold fast" means to glue together, to be stuck.

When two people stand before God and promise themselves to one another they are to superglue their relationship with the Spirit of God.  In a take it or leave it society, when relationships are as throw away as plastic bags, the people of God are to enter into marriage relationships with a higher calling. 

Let me back this up a little bit. My youngest son got married this past summer. It was a wonderful ceremony, a beautiful bride, and a dashing groom. A lot of effort went into making it the perfect ceremony. But after the euphoria was over, the honey moon behind them, the reality of life begins to set in. 

I called my son and told him that we were coming for a visit and bringing his stuff. "What?" He said. That's right, your married, an adult, and now you get all your stuff. Along with that your phone, car insurance, and yes, your stuff. When you get married there is a change in the parent/child relationship. He is to leave the protection, care, and provision of his parents and take them over with his wife.

That doesn't mean that parents throw their children to the wolves, but it does mean that their priorities change. Their focus is on their married relationship. This is difficult for some because mommy and daddy have always given them what they want, and when their spouse is unreasonable they go running home. 

Parents should listen, advise, and then send them "home" to work it out with their spouse. In this way they learn the tough lessons of love and submission. We do them no favors by hugging them and saying, "I know he/she is wrong and you are always right. Mommy will take care of this, why don't you stay here tonight." 

Couples become one as the glue hardens through pressure. When ever I glue something together I am often in too much of a hurry and take the pressure off the objects being glued. When I do that they eventually fall apart. Hardship and pressure solidify the bonding compounds. When couples submit themselves to the glue of the Holy Spirit and allow him to use the pressures of life as an adhesive, the bond will last much longer. If we give up too soon we miss out on the wonders of a fruitful marriage. 

Leaving and cleaving is not an issue of proximity. Setting appropriate boundaries helps young couples establish themselves as a family unit. As a parent there is joy and sadness as you watch your children marry. The joy is accepting a new member into the family, seeing them grow together, and producing (in their time) grandchildren. There is also sadness. As they build their own traditions they sometimes don't include yours. Holidays are shared. Distance can breed loneliness. Letting go can be just as hard as leaving. 

Rebecca and I are stuck like glue. We weather the joy and sadness of grown children as another pressure that binds us closer. We give our children the freedom to establish their own lives without pressure and guilt from us. We want their glue to set so that they will find the joy and happiness that comes from a long and fruitful marriage. 

Unity within the family, as well as the church, comes when we leave behind the things of childhood and embrace the responsibilities of adulthood. The church, like marriage, is bonded together through the crucibles of life and as we love and submit we will find ourselves stuck like glue, baby, stuck like glue. I'm just saying...

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