To have or not to have --- SEX!

I got your attention, but don’t worry this is not a bait and switch blog. It really is about sex. I was reading an article in The Economist entitled “The waiting Game”. They reported that a study just published in the Journal of Family Psychology suggests that delaying sexual activity is actually healthier in developing relationships. The study showed that couples (religious and non-religious) that postpone their sexual activity develop closer relationships in communication, sexual quality, relational satisfaction, and stability. Of course they do not know why their findings are true, only that the data indicates it to be correct. The article states that religious organizations will use this to support and underline their positions concerning sex. Praise God for science. Now people can really know that delaying sexual activity before marriage is a good thing?

For some reason, we (in the broad sense) need to have scientific approval before we accept the reality of what the Scriptures says. Do not get me wrong; I like research, statistics, and science. However, I start with the biblical truth. Applying the truth of Scripture will bring about blessing and peace, even if ‘science’ does not support its precepts.

So, why does waiting to have sex increase relational stability and health? In the recent movie “No Strings Attached” (I have only read the reviews) a couple begins a sexual relationship that will last until one or the other begins to have feelings. The idea is that casual sex is possible, satisfying, and meaningful apart from commitment. Of course, there are people who can jump in and out of bed without thought to a deeper relational tie, but the long term effect is a diminished capacity for intimacy. Sex is meant for marriage because it is the most intimate act that a couple can experience. It is intended to deepen a relationship that is already committed.

The idea that sex is for pleasure only is not new, but it underlies a belief that pleasure apart from responsibility is a good thing. This humanistic hedonism fosters casual sexual encounters that leave relationally starved people wounded. The Bible says that when we give ourselves to multiple people we leave a piece of ourselves (1 Cor. 6:15). When that happens repeatedly what is left? What do we keep of ourselves sexually and emotionally for that “special one”?

For the young I strongly urge you to follow the biblical command of sexual abstinence before marriage. It may sound restrictive but in the end the blessings will be multiplied 100 fold. For those who are (or have been) sexually active there is grace in Christ and hope for a new beginning.

I am thankful for research, and if that is what you need to nudge you towards obedience and blessing to God’s good will; all the better. Just remember that your sexuality is intended for intimacy, pleasure, and procreation. Don’t waste it on someone who is not willing to commit for the long haul. After 31 years, I can tell you it is well worth it!

I'm Just Saying.....