To have or not to have --- SEX!

I got your attention, but don’t worry this is not a bait and switch blog. It really is about sex. I was reading an article in The Economist entitled “The waiting Game”. They reported that a study just published in the Journal of Family Psychology suggests that delaying sexual activity is actually healthier in developing relationships. The study showed that couples (religious and non-religious) that postpone their sexual activity develop closer relationships in communication, sexual quality, relational satisfaction, and stability. Of course they do not know why their findings are true, only that the data indicates it to be correct. The article states that religious organizations will use this to support and underline their positions concerning sex. Praise God for science. Now people can really know that delaying sexual activity before marriage is a good thing?

For some reason, we (in the broad sense) need to have scientific approval before we accept the reality of what the Scriptures says. Do not get me wrong; I like research, statistics, and science. However, I start with the biblical truth. Applying the truth of Scripture will bring about blessing and peace, even if ‘science’ does not support its precepts.

So, why does waiting to have sex increase relational stability and health? In the recent movie “No Strings Attached” (I have only read the reviews) a couple begins a sexual relationship that will last until one or the other begins to have feelings. The idea is that casual sex is possible, satisfying, and meaningful apart from commitment. Of course, there are people who can jump in and out of bed without thought to a deeper relational tie, but the long term effect is a diminished capacity for intimacy. Sex is meant for marriage because it is the most intimate act that a couple can experience. It is intended to deepen a relationship that is already committed.

The idea that sex is for pleasure only is not new, but it underlies a belief that pleasure apart from responsibility is a good thing. This humanistic hedonism fosters casual sexual encounters that leave relationally starved people wounded. The Bible says that when we give ourselves to multiple people we leave a piece of ourselves (1 Cor. 6:15). When that happens repeatedly what is left? What do we keep of ourselves sexually and emotionally for that “special one”?

For the young I strongly urge you to follow the biblical command of sexual abstinence before marriage. It may sound restrictive but in the end the blessings will be multiplied 100 fold. For those who are (or have been) sexually active there is grace in Christ and hope for a new beginning.

I am thankful for research, and if that is what you need to nudge you towards obedience and blessing to God’s good will; all the better. Just remember that your sexuality is intended for intimacy, pleasure, and procreation. Don’t waste it on someone who is not willing to commit for the long haul. After 31 years, I can tell you it is well worth it!

I'm Just Saying.....

Eyes Are Watching

I read an article this week about the intrusion of technology in our lives. Not that we have miles of wires and gadgets running through our house, but the eyes that are watching us. There are traffic cameras, cameras in parking lots, stores, and malls (don’t text while you’re walking). It is even possible to step out in your front yard and have your picture taken by Google Maps. Did you know that when you tag a person’s picture on Facebook, Facebook runs a face recognition algorithm that identifies other pictures with the same image? Now you know how they get “Pictures of Paul”. Smart phones have censors in them that send out information about pictures that you take, so that brand new truck you just sent over the airwaves is available for any bad guy looking for some new wheels. It is enough to make you paranoid.

For a culture that demands privacy, we are one the most exposed societies in the world. We are abhorred when airport security pats us down, and then we take pictures of it and send it over the virtual highway. We would never want to be seen in our underwear in public, but if I can make one hundred grand on funniest home videos, hey, why not.

For those who know me I love technology. I love funny videos. I love showing pictures of my family to other people. And though I do not want my life available for the whole word to see, I have to say, I have nothing to be ashamed of. The reason for that is because I live my life knowing that there are eyes watching me; not the artificial eyes of an intrusive society, but the loving eyes of my heavenly Father.

Rev. 20:12 “And I saw the dead, the great and the small, standing before the throne, and books were opened; and another book was opened, which is the book of life; and the dead were judged from the things which were written in the books, according to their deeds.”

The term judged seems harsh and frightening. For those who don’t know the Father, like I do, standing before Him and being judged for their deeds should be a cause for fear. However, when you have trusted in Jesus Christ all sins are forgiven. He works in your life to produce fruits of righteousness, so that, when you stand before the Father to be judged all He sees is Jesus in you.
There are eyes watching, but they are loving eyes that want the best. The scriptures say that God works all things for good for those who love Him and are called according to His purpose. For this reason, I will live my life in such a way that reflects my heavenly Father, who watches over me.

Proverbs 5:21—“For the ways of a man are before the eyes of the LORD,
And He watches all his paths.”

I'm Just Saying.....

The Greatest Civil Rights Leader Ever

Today is Martin Luther King Jr. Day. It is a day set aside to honor a man who gave his life to non-violent protest against the discrimination of African Americans specifically and minority races in general. The 1960’s were a turbulent time where racial hatred permeated the American landscape, and sadly the American church. Not only were communities, schools, restaurants, and buses segregated but churches were as well. Even today Sunday morning is one of the most segregated times in America. We have come a long way since the death of Martin Luther King, Jr. but the feelings of racial divide can still run deep. Not every business or community celebrates the day equally, because for some it is merely a “Black” holiday and a frivolous way to spend the day. The heart is slow to change and discrimination and fear are hard to dislodge. We may not feel discrimination against blacks so prominently today but what about Arabs, Asians, Hispanics, or the French.

The greatest of all reformers wasn’t Martin Luther King Jr., Gandhi, or Rev. Tutu. For though they marched against injustice and won great victories, they could not change the heart. All they could do was change the moment. The heart will always default to self-protection and fear unless it is changed, and that change has to be radical.

God is in the business of changing hearts, and He promised to give us a new one (Ezekiel 11:19; 36:26). But heart change doesn’t come without a price tag. Sin has so corrupted our hearts that only major heart replacement can eradicate the problem. When God became flesh, in the person of Jesus, He did so for one purpose only—to take on himself the penalty of sin. Sin requires punishment from a just and holy God. Yet, God is also merciful, loving, gracious, and forgiving. Therefore, Jesus, God in the flesh, bore God’s wrath so we, who believe, would not have to endure God’s judgment. When we accept by faith God’s gift through Jesus we are filled with the Spirit and given a new heart. This new heart sees the world and people in a different way.

The Apostle Paul wrote this, “For you are all sons of God through faith in Christ Jesus. For all of you who were baptized into Christ have clothed yourselves with Christ. There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free man, there is neither male nor female; for you are all one in Christ Jesus. And if you belong to Christ, then you are Abraham’s descendants, heirs according to promise” (Gal. 3:26-29).

Jesus is the greatest civil rights activist the world will ever know because he has not changed just the moment but hearts for eternity. As believers in Jesus we are to carry this heart-changing message to all races, all genders, all socio-economic classes. Jesus levels the playing field because in him there is no difference in our standing before God. We are not to be arrogant about our “accident” of birth but reach out in love that we might all come together with one heart to give honor and glory to God through Jesus Christ.

I’m Just Saying….

Weddings and Babies

It is a fact of life that as you grow older time begins to stand still. That is, I don’t feel as if I am any older. It isn’t until I look in the mirror that I realize how the years have worn on me (that and the creek in my knees when I stand up). The passage of time, then, is measured not in how old I think I am but in the changes that occur in those around me; specifically my children. You have heard the expression, “They grow up so fast!” It’s true, but what makes you feel even older is when you are saying that about your grandchildren, and for some reason when you become a grandparent you look at children so much differently, but I digress.
This past week has been a joyous time as Steve, my middle son, proposed to his girlfriend, Jen. What is interesting is not that Steve was excited about proposing or Jen was excited about accepting, but that we as parents were thrilled with the whole idea in the first place. What is it about parents that we become as exhilarated as our children in the prospects of their betrothal? Is it because he will now be financially on his own (sorry son)? Is it that we can check off our to-do list “Child raised”? Or is it that somewhere down the line we will get a grandchild and carry on the Perkins legacy? For me I think it is because I know what it is to have enjoyed a loving relationship with my wife for over 30 years and look forward to seeing that kind of joy experienced by my son. I think it is because God has created us for this and the thought of seeing my son experience all that God has for him is a time of celebration. Plus, I like cake.

Another milestone of age progression is the fantastic news that my oldest Son and wife are having another baby! That’s right number two. Once again as we heard the news Rebecca squealed and I felt very proud (as if I had done something wonderful). It’s not that my granddaughter Eva is taking a back seat because I am always thrilled to visit with her on Skype, there is just something awesome about a new life coming into the world that makes grandparents turn to putty and show off pictures to people they don’t even know (not caring whether the people are interested or not). I don’t know about Rebecca but I am as intrigued, if not more so, with my granddaughter as I was with my own children (maybe it’s the age thing again and I just don’t remember). Again the question is begged, why? Is it because I get to adore, enjoy, and spoil without the repercussions? Is it because the Perkins name will be carried into the next generation? Or is it because this is what we have been created for, to reproduce the image of God for further generations; to raise up another generation of worshipers for our God?

The years have been good to Rebecca and I, and though my skin is dryer, I have more wrinkles, and my hair grayer I wouldn’t trade the past for the present for anything. The blessings that God has given us in our children, daughter-in-laws, and grandchildren bring us greater joy today than ever before. I still love to hold my wife’s hand and cuddle next to her on a cold night, but now I get to do it with the knowledge of God’s blessings on us and our family. I am content!

Ok David, Your up☺

Disconnected

Modern technology is such a wonderful thing. You never know how much you use or need something until you don’t have it anymore. This past weekend I was working on my computer and closed it without turning it off. When I came back and opened the screen it didn’t come on. I did all the things that one does to a computer that won’t start; I checked the plug, the battery, and pressed the button 100 times thinking that the next push will certainly start my faithful computer—to no avail.
When it comes to a laptop there is nothing worse then one that won’t work. I drove from Aledo to Davenport on Saturday to see if the Nerd Herd could fix it only to find out that all they can do is send it to Apple and hope for the best. I told them I had a warranty but they weren’t an official Apple repair site and couldn’t help me. They did, however, refer me to Computer Evolution – they were certified. Hope at last – but not long lived. When we pulled up the bold OPEN sign was ominously dark, and just because it was New Years Day they were closed. Didn’t they know how serious the emergency was!

Two whole days I had to wait. Fortunately there were enough outside activities to keep me occupied, one being the trouncing the Packers gave the Bears on Sunday (had to mention that). Finally, Monday arrived and I drove all the way back to Davenport. The repairman tried to start it but his pushing the button didn’t result in any different affect. He said, “if you don’t have a warranty you might as well just replace the computer.” As he played with his computer he finally said, “Yes, your warranty is still good.” “Fantastic, when can you have it fixed?” “There are some Apple computers before yours, but 2 to 3 days when we get to it.” My Adam’s Apple must have been visible as I gulped.

So, today has been a rough day. I had to do everything by hand. I had to write with a pen, I had to do searches by flipping through books, and I had to go find a computer to send some emails out in order to communicate with my congregation. I still have a cramp.

When the phone rang I didn’t recognize the area code and let it go to voice mail, but I thought, “what if it were the Apple repair store.” I quickly listened to my mail—and it was!!!! My computer was fixed. Fortunately my son and his girlfriend were going to Davenport for dinner and they graciously said they would pick it up. I had a meeting last night and didn’t get to see my computer until I got home. It rests warmly on my lap as I type this blog like an old friend.

Being disconnected has been good because it has allowed me to appreciate the wonderful tool that my computer is and all that I can accomplish with it. One of the women in the church said it was good for me to be disconnected for a while and she was right. So once I finish this I will turn it off and give it a rest and spend the rest of the evening disconnected – maybe I will even read a book.