Why I Hate Church: Part Eleven

           

           Expectations, we all have them.  We have expectations for our spouses, our children, our employers, and our friends.  Some of the expectations are realistic and others are unrealistic, but whatever they are they say that another person should live up to a certain set of standards to garner approval.  When those expectations are not met then people respond, and depending on the value we place on the relationship, respond in anger, frustration, disappointment, bitterness, hurt, offense, and even hatred.

            Recently one of my elders and I went to a district conference.  It was a one-day event centering on church growth, or rather the lack of it.  The church in America is in decline, and 50% of the pastors would chose another profession if they had a different skill set.  One of the reasons why pastor’s leave a church is the unmet expectations of their members, and either the church asks him to leave or the conflict becomes too great that he choses to find another ministry.

            Should members of a church have expectations of their Pastor? Yes, but the problem doesn’t lay in the right to have expectations, but rather the broad rang of expectations.  There are basically four types of Pastors: the pastor leader, the pastor teach/preacher, the pastor shepherd, and the pastor evangelist.  However, there is no pastor who embodies all these personas.  Yet, there are members in every church who expect the Pastor to represent them all, and if he doesn’t display the type of pastor they expect then they have failed. 

            And even if the church only expects the pastor to be a leader there are different types of leaders.  There are Inspirational leaders, organizational leaders, and relational leaders, and God doesn’t make every leader the same.  The same can be said of how a pastor teaches/preaches, shepherds, and evangelize.  The reality is that every Pastor will, and does, fail the expectations of their congregation.  The question isn’t if people will be disappointed, but when.

            Pastors also have expectations on staff and congregants, and it is important to note that Pastors can be just as unyielding in those expectations, which creates conflict.  The problem isn’t unmet expectations, but rather what we do with the inevitable disappointment.  The answer is Grace, the answer is Mercy, the answer is Forgiveness, and the answer is Reconciliation.  But instead of a biblical view of community the church exhibits a consumer mindset where the congregant is the customer (who is always right), and the Pastor is to supply what the consumer has paid for, and when he doesn’t they will leave for a church/pastor that will provide, or replace the pastor. 

Gal. 5:15 But if you bite and devour one another, take care that you are not consumed by one another.

Eph. 4:32 Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you.

I hate the church because it has become a consumer-based organization where people pay (tithe) for services, and if they are not rendered according to their expectations they either cut and run, or run the pastor out the ministry.   The church is called to repent and restore, extend grace and forgiveness, and work together in love.  I’m just saying…. (Continued – Why I Love The Church).