The Last Week of 2011

It is that time of year, again, where everyone reflects on the past year.  George Santayana wrote, “Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it.”    A brief moment of self-reflection goes a long way to avoid past mistakes.  So here is my brief reflection:

I was wrong – God was right – everything else just doesn’t matter. 

Not to be flippant, but if I am trusting the Lord, I can be content with what God has given me.  Godly advice is always welcome, but in the end it is the Father’s hand that will guide me.  Job’s friends where loquacious advisors.  Yet, they threw words to the wind just to hear the echoes of their own voices.  Job, on the other hand, was seeking answers to a dilemma that could only be found in the voice of God. 

Difficult situations require difficult answers.  Sometimes those answers never come. The oft-heard question of “why” escapes even the ardent believer facing difficult circumstances.  Why are my coworkers so difficult?  Why can’t I find a job?  Why is my spouse leaving me?  Why did my loved one die?  Why won’t God answer?

How has this past year fit this, so bleak a picture?  Ah, yes, even a pastor, dedicated to the work of God, goes through hard times, difficult moments, and seasons of questions.  Are people listening?  Have I loved enough?  Could I have done something different?  What difference have I made?

However, too much self-reflection can lead to depression, isolation, paralysis, and self-occupation.  Instead of thinking about the past, which I cannot change, looking to the future and focusing on what God has called me (us) to do, will change everything.

 Phil. 3:13 Brethren, I do not regard myself as having laid hold of it yet; but one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and reaching forward to what lies ahead.

Therefore, I want to love more and better, share the gospel clearly, preach with conviction, worship more passionately, care more fully, and trust the Lord more fervidly.   As always, I will struggle, but I will press on.  I will grow weary, but I will not give up.  I will get discouraged, but I will trust God.  I will get depressed, but I will rejoice in the Lord. 

The last week of 2011 is quickly coming to an end, and I have come to learn two inescapable truths;  “with God all things are possible” and “in Christ, I can do all things.”  I’m just saying…  

Five More Depressing Days Until Christmas

The Christmas season, as colorful and joyful as it can be, is often a depressing time for me.  “It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas.  Everywhere you go.  Pushing and shoving all around, even Santa has a frown, boy I just can’t wait, ‘till next year!”  Ok, maybe I am a little cynical.

I know it’s about keeping Christ in Christmas.  I know it’s about the Incarnation of God in the manger.  I know that the end isn’t the manger but the cross.  I know that when focused on its true meaning, Christmas has a fullness of celebration that can rapture the heart toward heaven.  I know all this, but in my heart there is a heaviness that lies just beneath the surface, bringing a deep unsatisfying sigh.

Maybe it’s because in the midst of the celebration there is so much façade and pain.  We drove by a house last evening, where there were more blow up Christmas decorations than could be found at the Macy’s Day Parade.  And last night a friend’s grandfather died without Jesus.  Celebration – hunger, celebration – death, celebration – oppression, celebration – abuse, celebration – anger, unforgiveness, resentment, and…sigh. 

However, the Christmas scene is idyllic.  It is presented as calm, peaceful, unaffected by the chaos in the world, but that isn’t a right and true picture.  That first Christmas was crowded streets, pushing and shoving, no room for a pregnant girl, coarse bedding—puuussshhh.  That’s right breath….puuuusssshhhhh.  The baby’s delivered – crying, tears, joy. Now there are unexpected visitors, crowding in to see a promise.  Smelly sheep and shepherds…exhaustion.  And the world is oblivious that Christ has been put into Christmas. 

Maybe the heaviness is because in the midst of the celebration there is so much suffering, and I can’t do anything to abate it; it marches on before, during, and after Christmas.  Yet, that is the message of Christmas, a hurting world incapable of fixing itself, and God becomes man.  The message of Christmas is God dwelling among men to identify with our suffering and taking on the penalty of our sin with the hope of salvation.

That’s It! The message of Christmas isn’t happiness, parties, and good times! The message of Christmas is HOPE! It’s a message of the hope of redemption, the hope of healing, the hope of freedom, and the hope of eternal life! The exaltation and sigh of my heart, is God’s heart.  Yes, we can celebrate this Christmas, even in the midst of suffering, because there is hope.  I’m just saying… 

What Motivates Me

I use to work for a delivery company in Dallas, Texas, back the late ‘80’s.  It wasn’t a difficult job, but the pressure to deliver packages on time and promptly made the job stressful.  This was especially true when one-hour delivery was guaranteed and dispatch gave you 6 packages, all going in different directions.  After an 8 to 10 hour day heading home is all I could think about.  Inevitably I would get a call on the radio that a package needed picked up and delivered, and I was the only one in the vicinity.  Though stated in the form of a question, there wasn’t really an option.  For some, the idea of overtime money was appealing and they would jump at the chance.  Not for me, money never motivated my compliance.  I would rather be home with my family and playing with my children, then earning a couple of extra bucks.  Of course I would take the assignment, because not to could threaten my employment. 

Whenever we chose to do something, it is done out of some kind of motivation.  It may be our love for God, our wife, our children, or church.  It may be for money, power, or prestige.    It could even be out of obligation, anger, jealousy, or resentment.  Of course the highest form of motivation is love.  The Apostle Paul says in 1 Corinthians 13, that if we do anything from a motivation other than love we are clanging cymbals.  And there isn’t anything more annoying than obnoxious clanging. 

I get up every morning, I go to my office to study the word, write, visit a parishioner, or spend time meditating and praying.  I am often faced with the question of motivation.  Why do I do what I do?  Paul says, “For the love of Christ controls us” 2Cor. 5:14.  The Greek word for control can be translated “devoting completely,” “gripped with,” suffering from,” or “hard-pressed.”  I like “suffering from.”   I am suffering from the love of Christ.  When we are so gripped with, devoted completely to, hard-pressed by, or suffering from the love of Christ we cannot help but reach out, love, and care for other people.  When we are captivated by His love, we see everything from a different perspective; our motivation changes.

It is hard to constantly be motivated by love, because people are not always easy to love.  I know I’m not.  I am sure, as many of you will attest to, I can get on people’s nerves, try their patience, and challenge their capacity to tolerate, and vice versa.  It is in these moments that I must take a deep breathe and rely, not on my capacity to love, but on the love of Christ.  It is the love of Christ that motivates me.  It is His overwhelming grace that captivates my desires.  It is His strength and power that allows me to rise above my situation and love other people.   Any other motivation will be short lived.  Especially for guys like me who are distracted by shiny things…squirrel! 

Today, as I reflect on the Christmas Season, I am cognizant of how much God has loved me.  I don’t deserve it.  So why should I withhold love from others.  I’m just saying….

Undone and Nowhere to Turn

Whoever is humble raise your hand.  You can’t contrive humility, it sneaks up on you, you don’t even notice it, but everyone around you does.  To see humility in yourself is to find it fly away.  So, what do we do with the scriptural admonitions to be humble? There are two aspects to humility.  I can humble myself before others, by subjecting my will to theirs.  However, that is an outward action that may or may not reflect the heart.  Inward humility is much more difficult. 

Humility comes when we are so overwhelmed with the reality of God’s grace that everything in our lives gives sway to His will.  A humble heart sees everything through a redemptive lens.  A life of humility gives way to another, not because they are superior, but because it is an expression of God’s favor.   Humility sees others as more important because its identity is in Christ and not in being right or greater.

This has ramifications in how we live the Christian life.  The consumer heart sees church through the lens of personal interest.  The humble heart sees the church through the lens of God’s mission. The consumer heart looks at the church and asks, “How will you meet my needs?”  The humble heart looks at the church and asks, “How can I express God’s will?”   The consumer heart wants a return for its investment.  The humble heart is owned by God and is available to His will.  The consumer heart searches for something better.  The humble heart sees nothing better than God and rests in His will.

Humility is a discipline and a characteristic.  As a discipline I practice putting others before myself.  As a characteristic I have to allow God to bring me to the place where I am undone and have nowhere to turn. Humility is cultivated through the disciplines of prayer, bible study, and meditation.  We are overwhelmed by God’s grace when we spend time with Him, move in Him, and breathe Him in.  I asked the people at church to meditate on what it really means to “have a closer walk with Thee,” from the old hymn.  The closer we get to God the less we are focused on our self.  The more focused we are on ourselves the further we are away from God.

We are constantly moving between these two points.  At any point in your day reflect on what you are thinking and feeling.  Are you complaining about something…Self.  Are you looking for others to meet your needs…Self.  Are you running away from God’s mission…Self.  Are you seeking the easy way out…Self. 

It is much easier to point out when we are being self-centered than what it looks like to be God focused.  Because doing church stuff doesn’t mean you are God focused, if it is done from a need perspective.  What I do know is this:  Today as I wallowed in discouragement, self-pity, anger and even resentment, I was struck with how far away I was from God, at that moment.  I needed to refocus my attention.

I am learning again and again that I must be undone with nowhere to go, so that all I can see is Jesus. That can be very painful.  I’m just saying….